30 days meme
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago




That's from 1992, and is the first photo I had on hand to bring into work to scan. I kind of wanted to find one of some fugly awkward twelve year old, but they're all in a suitcase somewhere and this one is on my wall. That's me and my little brother.

I saw Where The Wild Things Are with Nabii, Leo and Toy last night. Very beautiful but it kind of just made me feel disturbed and uncomfortable the whole way through, but I really felt shitty and in fact cried in the beginning part, before he went to the island, with his interactions with his sister and especially when he went to her room and destroyed the heart card that he had made for her. It really got to me and made me hope that my brother never loved me enough for him to have felt rejected and hurt by me that much. I don't think he ever did, and that also made me sad.

In other Shitty Family News, after my fight with my father a couple of weeks ago, we have not spoken. My stepmother came over to use the bathroom when they were driving somewhere, and he didn't even get out of the car. And then the other day we came home and found a bag of 2nd-hand bed linens and towels that they must have donated to us, but with no note or anything. Our family Christmas party is this Saturday, and yesterday he forwarded me a reminder about it, by email.

So I replied saying that I didn't like what was going on, and apologised for what I'd said and stated that the reason I hadn't apologised earlier isn't cause I didn't feel bad, but because I know how he reacts to apologies, and all this other stuff about how different things make different people happy, and how he made me feel like shit about things that usually make me feel fulfilled.

He replied saying "i still hope you can come. love aba"

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Does that mean I will come and he won't talk to me? I really don't fucking get it and I don't like it.

Emails from work:

Boss: Xmas shopping hour turned into almost 3 . It's like David jones knew I was coming and sent every large mum and their twins to block my way....
Me: Don't worry, we don't want you here anyway. Jokes, jokes, these are the jokes. We are having fun making the photocopier staple things. [[we only just discovered that it did this. novel.]]
Boss: Sticks and stones nat, I just gave ur present to a hobo.


The glorious and unexpected thing is he actually DID show up with Christmas presents for us. He gave me a trashy DVD called "Sugar and Spice" which is about cheerleaders who rob a bank. I had actually heard of this movie before he gave it to me, pathetically, which shows that he kind of knows my taste. His card, which was a folded piece of red printing paper, said "I was going to get you a Glee related pressie then Scarlett rightly pointed out u would prob have downloaded
everything already."

You guys, I really love him. He reminds me of a primary school child, nearly every day.




anthony, bullied at school
get your own back, now you are cool - or are you scared?
bunking off though you’re a toff
it’s all gone wrong again, you’ve got double math
and the teacher’s got no control
the boys all run riot, you will stay quiet
or you will die

tony at the back of the gym
smoke another one, your chances are slim
‘cos here they come again
and they got you on the ground
tasting blood again, at least it’s your own
when will you realise, it doesn't pay
to be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys?
so shut your mouth, start kicking the football
bang on the teeth, you’re off for a week boy

you may as well take it in the guts - it can’t get worse
take it in the guts - it can’t get worse that this
you’ll soon be old enough to leave them
and without a notion of a care
you’ll lift two fingers in the air to linger there

tony, you’re a bit of a mess
melted toblerone under your dress
if the kids could see you they would pass you right by
blue mascara running over your eye
when will you realise it doesn't pay
to be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys?
shut your mouth, start kicking the football
bang on the teeth, you’re off for a week boy

anthony it could be worse
anthony it could be worse

they call you lord anthony, but hey - it could be worse
lord anthony, but hey - it could be worse
lord anthony, but hey - it kind of suits you anyway

you’ll soon be old enough to leave them
without a notion of a care
you’ll lift two fingers in the air to linger there


I also really fucking love this song, it's one of my favorite songs ever, but I never related it to anyone until now... Sing it if you know the words, kids!
you will never understand
how it feels to live your life
with no meaning or control
and with nowhere left to go
you are amazed that they exist
and they burn so bright
whilst you can only wonder why
cookiedough: (FOB - Peter Pan)
millionaire say
got a big shot deal and thrown it all away but
but i'm not too sure
how i'm supposed to feel or what i'm supposed to say
but i'm not, not sure, not too sure how it feels
to handle every day
and i miss you love

make room for the prey
cause i'm coming in with what i wanna say but
it's gonna hurt
and i love the pain, a breeding ground for hate but...
i'm not, not sure, not too sure how it feels
to handle everyday like the one that just passed
in the crowds of all the people

remember today
i've no respect for you
and i miss you love
and i miss you love

i love the way you love
but i hate the way i'm supposed to love you back and

and it's just a fad
part of the teen, teenage angst brigade and
i'm not, not sure, not too sure how it feels
to handle everyday like the one that just passed
in the crowds of all the people

remember today
i've no respect for you
and i miss you love
and i miss you love

remember today
i've no respect for you
and i miss you love
and i miss you...

i love the way you love
but I hate the way i'm supposed to love you back

Green Eyes.

May. 5th, 2007 08:56 pm
cookiedough: (Marc Bolan)
Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

The green eyes, yeah the spotlight shines upon you
And how could anybody deny you?

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter now I've met you
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you

Green eyes...

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

The green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their mind

'Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter since I met you
Honey you should know,
That I could never go on without you

Green eyes, green eyes...

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand.
cookiedough: (Marc Bolan)
Wake up, my love
Never thought you'd make me, break me
Now I'm up from below
Such a brilliant star you are
And will your love keep burning, baby?
Burn a hole right through my eyes
All these short times feel like no time
I thought you ought to know...

I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty
I'm so far gone now
Do you wanna take me on?
Do you wanna take me on?

Do, do you, do you know?
Do you know how long I've waited?
To look up from below,
Just to find someone like you?
And will your love light burn me, baby?
Burn a hole right through my heart
I think I might just trust you, maybe
But I'm not sure... I'm not sure I wanna know

I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty
I'm so far gone now
Do you wanna take me on?

landed.

Apr. 13th, 2007 06:19 pm
the daily dramas she made from nothing
so nothing ever made them right
she liked to push me, and talk me back down
til i believed i was the crazy one
and in a way i guess i was




I am such a shit person.
cookiedough: (FF - Chips)
Results from music meme up here.

There are still a few un-guessed ones. C'mon people.

2. This is the way I wanted it to be with you, this is the way I knew that it would be with you.
13. Words don’t express my meaning, notes could not spell out the score.
21. Take a walk in the park, take a valium pill, read the letter you got from the memory girl.
27. And you know you’re never sure, but you’re sure you could be right.
34. I drive a Rolls Royce cause its good for my voice.
40. Head down, hood up, into burning buildings.
Guess the track, etc, etc. Stolen from everyone.

40 under here )
I know that you're in there.. I can see you.
You're saying you're ok.. I don't believe you.

And now that the gig is up, the spell is broken;
The fat lady sung , the president has spoken.

These days that you were waiting for will come and go, like any day;
Just another day.

There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you
While the world is watching.
All you need is the thing you forgotten;
And that's to learn to live with what you are.

So freak out if you wanna and I’ll still be here.
Don’t call me for years and when you do, yeah, I’ll still be here.

And I’m not saying the effort is a waste of time - but I just love you for the things you couldn’t change, though you’ve tried.
These hours of confusion they will soon expire, like everything does.

There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you
While the world is watching.
All you need is the thing you’ve forgotten;
And that's to learn to live with what you are

Sometimes, everything you’ve ever wanted floats above;
He’s sticking out his tongue and laughing.
While everything anyone can ever need is down below, waiting for you to know this:

There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you
While the world is watching.
All you need is the thing you’ve forgotten;
And that's to learn to live with what you are.

You got to learn to live with what you are.

Profile

cookiedough

November 2011

S M T W T F S
  1234 5
6789101112
13 141516171819
20212223242526
27282930   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 23rd, 2017 08:34 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios