cookiedough (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cookiedough) wrote2011-02-10 01:37 am
cookiedough) wrote2011-02-10 01:37 am
meta alert.
Blaine Anderson - I Pretend Like I Do.
Firstly: You know how I said that if anything, Darren playing him hinders my love of Blaine, rather than enhances it? You need to know how weird it is for me to be writing about, shipping, and analyzing the shit out of a character Darren plays. It feels very, very, very strange, almost like if one of you guys created or played a character and I was like, way too into it for it to be uncreepy. (I guess I DO kind of do this with The Wolf House, actually. Sorry,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sharpest_rose.)But I don't even see Darren when I look at Blaine in character. I can't see him at all.
That being said, let us put aside my ongoing Darren Criss Celebrity Conflict and focus on the fact that he is really... really, and truly, an OUTSTANDING actor. I will take down anyone who says otherwise (and oh, people are trying to say otherwise, that he over-acts and isn't subtle, etc, etc.)
I was going to write this post during the Glee hiatus, but then I thought no, I'll wait to see what they give us in the Superbowl/V-Day episodes, I'll just wait. But now I wish I HADN'T waited, so I would have written, dated proof that my head-canon (a lot of the fandom's head-canon) matched what they're actually doing and that we got that head-canon from what has been shown just from episodes 6 - 10 of this season. Due to what Darren put into the few minutes of screen time that he got.
Firstly, I am going to ramble about the stuff that I built about Blaine. Then I will address how the new episodes confirm/deny that, and what I think it all means.
You don't even know, guys, I am SO relieved. Both Ryan and Darren are like blah blah yes Blaine will have layers and... yes, I saw the potential, obviously. I saw what I thought Darren was doing with it, but I was scared that he was.. wasting his energy. Because this is GLEE. Ryan Murphy, God love him, does not create characters with layers, he creates one-dimensional characters who eventually get layers added later on, often extremely contradictory ones. So I have been wondering... and wondering and wondering.. how much of what we saw of Blaine's behavior - not his words, not the script, but his actions, expressions, his fucking eyes, was due to actual direction, and how much was Darren just making it up - making the character look deeper than the writers actually planned to make him. Just watching his eyes in the Don't Cry For Me Argentina scene, guys, watch it again and I challenge you to read him.
This is my Blaine. This is what I saw, based on the scenes from before the hiatus:
He's a Dalton transfer, not a legacy, so while he may possibly come from money, he didn't grow up in that environment like most of the Dalton boys did. This could be one of three things: a) he was messed over at another private school, b) he's rich but he chose to try going to a public school, or or c) that he actually comes from a relatively 'normal' family and isn't the heir to the Vanderbilt fortune or anything (we will save my meta on how Blaine = Anderson Cooper for another day.) I'm thinking it's a) or c), but he's not irreverent about money. I know a lot of very wealthy people - my immediate family include very, very wealthy people, multi-millionares (no, I have no claim on that money :P) and I went to a very Dalton-esque private school in one of the wealthiest areas in Sydney. The biggest tell, when a wealthy person is a douchebag, is whether they act like money matters - whether they acknowledge something as objectively expensive, even if they can easily afford it, and Blaine does. He says that "tuition at Dalton is kinda steep" - he understands that affording it easily makes him privileged. So that tells us something about his background - that even if he's rich, he's not a snob, not oblivious and he doesn't need to check his privilege.
His two most outstanding qualities are that he is desperately good-hearted and that he has a chronic need for approval. This means that for every single person he meets, he needs to fit the mold for whatever place they need him in in their life.
When it comes to Kurt - he was instantly, maybe even subconsciously, attracted to him. This is not my own meta. This happens. I have a gif of it. I doubt most of you have rewound and hashed the hell out of this like me and my comm have, but when he meets Kurt on the stairs, his jaw drops and he just, drinks him in. Just for two seconds, and then he pulls himself together, introduces himself, and pulls Kurt off by the hand (for no reason except to touch?), and Teenage Dream happens, which is just ridiculously unsubtle. Because Blaine only knows how to sing his feelings - more below on this.
Of course Kurt being there did not inspire Blaine to sing Teenage Dream. It was planned already. Some people speculate that it WAS put on for Kurt - not because Blaine was attracted, but because they knew there was a spy wandering around the school, and they wanted to show him what they were bringing. But either way, this did not stop Blaine choosing to sing the whole thing to Kurt, minutes after they met. This is because Blaine is a flirt. Blaine is a flirt because Blaine desperately needs approval from every person he meets. His actions in Teenage Dream are not sleazy, not even that cocky. It isn't arrogance or showing off. It's just 'like me, please like me, look at me and approve of me.'
So for like half an hour or whatever, he allows himself to be attracted, whether it is conscious or instinctual I don't know. But the second he finds out Kurt's problems, he firmly shuts that door in his mind and tries to be what Kurt needs - a mentor, a guide, support, someone who isn't asking anything of him.
Kurt does not know it, but Blaine has never been in that position before. All-Around-Nice-Guy Blaine who will give you the shirt off his back, yes, but he has NOT been in that dominant mentor position before. He is not a gay Yoda, he is not some great leader, he is a seventeen year old boy who left his last school because he could not handle half of what Kurt is handling. He takes on roles for people and does them until they feel real - forgets they were ever NOT real. When he represses things, he represses them so much that he forgets they were things he was repressing, they just become fact. And he thinks that Kurt needs him in that way. So he's repressed the fact he's attracted to Kurt and acts like the white knight who knows exactly how to handle all of Kurt's problems when he couldn't handle his own.
Which is why he sucks so badly at it. Honey, you can have a suave, sure voice all you like, but your advice fucking SUCKS. It SUCKS. Yes, Blaine does not know the full extent of Kurt's drama - the fact he uses the word 'taunted' enforces to me that his was much less physical - but he encourages Kurt to confront the people who are physically attacking him and as a result the whole Karofsky thing happens. Blaine blames himself for it. He was projecting his own guilt about running away and not standing up for himself onto Kurt - trying to redeem himself through encouraging Kurt - and it fucked Kurt over. Which is one of the reasons he'd take off in the middle of a school day and drive two hours to McKinley to help Kurt. I'm sure he would help him even if he had nothing to do with it, but he DEFINITELY feels responsible.
God, if I keep writing this much this is going to end up being ten thousand words no fucking problem. Have some dot points.
- He feels the need to do the right thing morally even when he disapproves personally (reaching out to Karofsky even when his tone was dripping with contempt for him)
- He tries very hard to be in control but has trouble hiding his emotions when they are snarky or bitter - "Kurt told me what you did." "I even complained about it to the faculty."
- It takes a lot for him to swear.
- He's very tactile with people who will allow him to be. He finds comfort through touch and assumes other people will find comfort from them touching him.
- He's a goof. His dapperness is part of his goofiness - it's a conscious affectation. The other Dalton guys are legitimately, mindlessly, woodenly polite, but he does the dapper thing and it's kind of an outlet. Because his natural goofy self was kind of reined in pretty fast when he saw no one else acted like that. His old-worldlyness like the pocket watch and some of his little gestures (start of Baby It's Cold Outside) are all conscious, dorky affectations. He admires the old world, the imagery, class and style of old Hollywood and the Fifties.
- That being said, he IS polite - not because he has to be, but because he is naturally earnest and courteous and good. And needs people to like him. His interactions with Rachel, Will and Mercedes show that pretty clearly, Mercedes especially because I am 100% certain he privately did not appreciate Mercedes 'tuning out' while he discussed the basic human rights of himself and Mercedes' best friend. Kind of also another example of him not being able to stand up for himself very well.
- Because of the whole fitting the mold thing, he goes out of his way to adapt at Dalton. He can't just be like, bare minimum fitting in, his need for approval means he needs to go above and beyond. This includes the hair. Not everyone at the school has hair that controlled - look at that guy with the 'fro in the Warblers. But most people take it as absolute canon that Blaine had The Hair - you know, Darren's actual hair - before Dalton and he adapted to this style in his attempt to become a perfect image of fitting in.
- He's more natural with Kurt, especially off-campus. Be it goofier, camper, more boisterous, less lecturing, whatever. He uses a different VOICE. He doesn't even realize it most of the time, doesn't realize he acts differently, but the more he gets close to Kurt, the more he starts to see Dalton/the Warblers through Kurt's eyes and the more he starts to question things.
- Part of this may be to do with the fact he finds Kurt delightful - laughing at Kurt's jokes about Pavarotti in front of the Warblers - and realizing no one else approves. That causes him a bunch of conflict - you know when he wankily starts using the royal We after Kurt's first rehearsal? I think he's really conflicted, like this has WORKED for him for so long and now here is this other boy, who has had SUCH an awful time and dealt with so much, but is still willing to be himself, be vulnerable, not hide himself in any way? I think that scares and confuses him, he admires and respects Kurt for not caring that people disapprove, and it reminds him that he's not the same way. He probably hasn't been reminded of that in a long time, he's just been doing his thing and has had no one shaking him up, none of the Dalton guys know him well enough to assume he's anything other than the role he portrays.
- Someone in my comm wrote something brilliant, that when Blaine was saying "you'll fit in soon enough," he wasn't saying "you have to fit in." he was saying "you get to." And he wants Dalton to work for Kurt, help Kurt in the same way it helped him. He wants Kurt to feel like he's a part of it. And at the same time that Kurt is actually listening to him and running with his idiotic gilded-canary-cage metaphors, Blaine, the more time he spends with Kurt, is realizing that it maybe isn't working for HIM. He fights it, but being around Kurt reminds him of who he is under the mask, and he starts to feel the cage himself, whereas before Kurt he'd forgotten there were bars there. It also, as I said above, scared the shit out of him because he has not seen someone so unbothered by expressing themselves. Blaine's not ashamed or afraid of being gay - in the sheer technicality of liking men - and no one at Dalton cares/can harass him for that, but they can and do severely disapprove of his individual personality, being informal or non-traditional, or being "weird."
- He's the front man of the Warblers - but he isn't the leader. He's liked and respected, but he isn't on the council. He was put into his position as front man by other people, because he's good - captivating and energetic - but not because he fought to have the solos or anything. That's why he says to Kurt 'you won't make it as a Warbler if all you care about is getting noticed.' - He has no arrogance when he performs - he's not Kurt or Rachel. (That being said, he really does like to make an entrance.) He's in that position because it simply just fit him the best, maybe even because he couldn't blend properly with others - not like Kurt can't/doesn't want to, but a literal physical inability to be co-ordinated. However, they do need a front man, so it works for him to be in that position. But the council want to reprimand him every time he doesn't take things quite serious enough - pulls faces, does something unchoreographed. They let him get away with it because audiences love him.
- When he's performing and goes off-script, it's the only time he feels free, like truly himself. He is subconsciously restless and needs an outlet.
- He doesn't handle going off-script in the real world very well, though. He is an idealist, a romantic, and he plans out situations, has a very set idea of How They Should Go. When they don't go how he plans, he does not know what to do - freezes up, doesn't know how to make the situation keep working in his favor. Like Karofsky pushing him into the fence. Or Kurt doing Don't Cry For Me Argentina - god, his face in that scene was incredible, it was full of so much awe and so much conflict.
- The last main point that is taken as absolute canon is that he will transfer to McKinley. With Kurt, or a while after. So he can face his running-away regrets, and not be stifled.
So yeah. This, and more, is all stuff that I, and other people in the fandom, drew from what was seen in the three episodes Blaine was in up until Christmas. There's more, I am sure there is more, stuff that will come to mind every now and then. I associate a million songs with him, which is something I very rarely do for characters - I don't automatically hear songs and think 'oh, good theme song for so-and-so' but for Blaine it happens all the time. I have a playlist. I have NEVER drawn so much meta, so much canon, from a character I'd seen only snippets about. The only one comparable is Remus Lupin. I seriously - Blaine grabs something in me, I am SO invested in him, and it's 100% not because of Darren. As I said, Darren could be a douchebag, or a nobody, or a robot they activate to play Blaine, but as long as Blaine was played like this, I would still be invested like this. I always expected to support Darren on Glee and like his character, but I NEVER expected to love him this much. NEVER.
And I have never felt so validated.
Superbowl: had not too much. More of his insane hyperactivity while performing, going above and beyond this time. More of the 'liking to make an entrance' thing - god, Bills Bills Bills was INSANE. I didn't like it that much musically, but as an entire scene, god, it was so good. And Blaine is so... well.. Blaine. Climbing on the furniture, getting all up in people's business - you know that if he was doing this while NOT performing, he would be heavily chastised. It is an outlet for his restless energy and I did not expect it to be this nuts.
He seems closer to Kurt and more comfortable with him, like they've really become really good friends and leveled up a bit. There's something about Kurt's concentration and their interaction in BBB that makes me think it was actually a number they/Kurt put forward to the Warblers, but that really has nothing to do with anything else, it was just a vibe I got. But they seem like a pretty solid team and I think that Blaine has latched on to Kurt as a friend, not just because Kurt needed him, but because he realized he needs Kurt too.
I was not at ALL expecting the coffee date with Rachel and Mercedes - loved it for like one million reasons though. Kurt/Rachel friendship, Kurt bringing Rachel and Mercedes together as friends, Rachel/Blaine friendship... but also, Blaine calling Kurt on his Finn bullshit. I LOVED it, it killed me. Very subtle but shows the shift in dynamic and shows that they are getting very, very comfortable. That whole thing kind of implies that Dalton isn't a boarding school though, which is offtopic but I refuse to accept, because so much else contradicts it (Kurt hadn't talked to Finn since the wedding, Baby It's Cold Outside was at NIGHT, Kurt keeps his pet bird at school, plus it'd mean Kurt drove 4 hours a day). So until they insist otherwise, I am saying that Kurt meant 'every night that he's home' like on weekends. Because just no. Anyway. The girls seem very comfortable with Blaine which makes me think this is a fairly frequent occurrence, and I like that they're comfortable and integrating. It gives me hope for the future, and hopefully will kill all those fics about people thinking Blaine is another Jesse.
My favorite thing though was Blaine talking in a really, well, normal voice. Not his Dalton voice, not his Mentor Voice, he's just being normal with them. And stuffing his face. Love. And Kurt being like 'Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves.' This killed me mainly because, from all the spoiler pictures that had been leaking, I was already calling Blaine 'Scarf Guy' - seriously, you guys, it his is only fashion outlet. He wears his uniform, his peacoat, and at least three, possibly four different scarves over the space of this week's two episodes. All different sorts of tartan/stripe as well as a Buckeyes one (Darren must have been dying inside, the fact they made Blaine a Buckeyes fan never fails to amuse me) and so yeah, Scarf Guy. And then Kurt said that! And I died.
Him at the football game was all sorts of cute. I am glad they've stopped shooting it like Chris is smaller than Darren - they must have realized they couldn't keep up those angles forever. But I want interaction with Burt like... now. Right now.
Now for the big one - SILLY LOVE SONGS. Otherwise known as THE EPISODE THAT VALIDATED THREE MONTHS OF HEAD-CANON THAT WOULD SIMPLY NOT LEAVE ME ALONE.
First up: ANDERSON! It's canon, bitches. Fandom has been using this name for him for a while, someone at Darren's gig before Christmas asked him Blaine's last name and he said Anderson. We had no idea if he just made it up, or if it was in the character spec always and as yet-unused, and I still don't know. Either way, it's there now. Either they'd already shot this/it was in the character spec, or it's fan service, but it is canon and it is delightful. I love how, when we were watching the live stream (SO worth it, by the way) my Twitter just lit up with about 5 tweets in a row from people actively involved in the comm all just shrieking "ANDERSON!"
Asides from that..
Oh my god just every fucking scene? How? Perfect? How?
First coffee scene: I just died. Oh, every scene is going to be me just saying "I just died." But the chemistry and comfortability in arguing - they are seriously leveling up more and more and while some people may be into that because it means more likely for them to get together... while I do want that, god, so much, I actually am just excited at Blaine chilling the fuck out. And yes, of COURSE Blaine is a romantic and Kurt is a cynic. Of course. As if it would be any other way.
I also just died over how much trouble Blaine has talking about his feelings, he is beyond coy to the point of finding it quite hard to get his words out. The coffee ordering though is so sweet, so smooth, so natural and if I were Kurt I would be swooning all over the place too. And he's being charming, again, with the server, because god forbid somebody, somewhere, does not like Blaine Anderson.
The Dalton scene: so this post is about Blaine and oh yes, you are getting another post about the two episodes in general because I think they're the best two episodes in Glee's history, but oh god, Kurt's face when he's doodling and Blaine comes over and he looks up. It is probably the happiest I have ever seen another human being. GOD. LOVE Blaine's obvious nervousness and again, his need to touch. Do you see how this is all fitting together?
The Warbler council meeting is the one that really, truly made me air-punch.
Most importantly: Blaine says he is not very good at talking about his feelings. That he is better at singing them. It's funny, to me, to hear that and go 'well, yeah, duh, of course, that's Blaine to a tee' and then think 'okay the majority of viewers of this show probably haven't thought about this before, at all.' - but yes. Of course. Like I said, the performance is the outlet.. and look at what he's performed to Kurt so far.
I also adore that he is visibly nervous and that the reaction is bad. Wes, and his gavel, and his BRILLIANT delivery of that line about the Spirit of St Louis. It was SO funny. But yes, this all fits the 'Blaine, we need you, but please SIT THE FUCK DOWN' vibe that I got.
And then the clincher - he loses some of his control. And calls them "privileged, porcelain birds." Um, HUGE. HUGE. Especially after his behavior to Kurt in episode 9. He is changing, he is taking an outside perspective, he is taking risks, he is separating himself. I didn't expect to see it happen so soon. And you know it's because of having Kurt as a friend and waking the fuck up. And as soon as it all gets angry, he looks so lost, so lost - his face when Kurt rescues him is... well, it's something.
Um, the sleepover scene is fucking amazeballs and touched every part of my desperate Kurt/Rachel BFF heart. I do not care much for Mercedes but I do like the consistent development of her and Rachel being close in Kurt's absence. And I love that Kurt is self-aware and what it leads him to do in the next scene.
The Gap: I seriously. I can't even. I just. DIED. We got the performance leaked last week so I knew what was coming, but nothing on earth prepared me for that dialogue at the start.
NO WORDS.
There are no words. Kurt is BRILLIANT. I love this, I LOVE it, I love that he's not all fucked up. Like, compare it to the insane shit he did to Rachel last year while trying to get Finn? And with Blaine he's like 'I am just... severely judging you.' Because yeah, he likes him, but he's NOT delusional about him, despite thinking he made the whole thing up in his head. He's not delusional and not like 'you can do no wrong' - there's no pedestal. Because they're genuinely friends, all things aside. And then, even better, SUPPORTING him - 'Man up, you're amazing, he's going to love you.' Guys, a part of me will never recover from that. I wish I could be one fifth of the human being Kurt is.
I said this a bunch when the performance clip was leaked, but you see a bit more obviously in the flow of the episode - Blaine being nervous. Blaine visibly putting himself together, gathering himself. That was all the validation I needed, fuck the rest of the episode, that was literally all I needed to know.. just KNOW.. that I had been right in what I had built about him. Just the putting on of the mask, plus the bit with the socks at the end. That was all I needed.
When I Get You Alone is the most ridiculous, amazing, inappropriate and fucking sexy performance this show has ever done. SO HOT. BUT SO STUPID.
When it leaked, my first comment on the post was BLAINE IS A CRAZY PERSON. AND I LOVE IT.
You guys, he thinks that this is a VALID LIFE CHOICE. Do I need to explain this further? This is a person who gets it into his head that this is a GOOD IDEA because he thinks life is a movie or some shit. It makes me love him SO HARD. I feel bad for Kurt, I do, but I actually feel worse for Blaine because he is fucking delusional if he thinks this is a good idea.
(Look, I'm sorry but be honest. The whole situation must be summed up as this.
"Hey Kurt, come here, I wanna show you somethin' come here…"
"Hey, Blaine Anderson…"
"Listen, I wanna play this song I'm working on. I met this guy that I really, really like and I wanna let him know that he's really special, so I just wanna know what you think."
"Wow, wowee Blaine Anderson!"
"Don't you think, you know, it could make a guy fall in love with me?"
"Oh, I think it already has…"
"Awesome, cause it's for THE GUY AT THE GAP!"
"Oh yeah, he is beautiful…"
"What are you nuts, beautiful? More like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot! He's the hottest guy I've ever met, far more attractive, far more appealing, and far more interesting than any guy that I know, in my immediate group of friends.")
The sunglasses. Not even going to touch on that. If you know me and you know Darren, you get it and I just.. I can't, I can't.
I love how he gains confidence through the song, gets all goofy and cocky, like gets into it and starts thinking 'yes! this is totally going to work!' And at first the dude is kind of eye-rolling and indulgent and then he (and Kurt) are both just like... 'oh wow no, he went too far' and Blaine has no idea.
Blaine Anderson = a creeper who projects and I LOVE HIM FOR IT FOR SOME REASON.
God, it sounded and looked awesome though. They KILLED it and Darren's growls on 'you make me sick' and 'my father's last name' - um, I would not have been as resistant as the GAP guy.
Off topic.
Just, oh, the SOCKS. You may have seem me screaming SOCKS on Twitter. It killed me. "I'M CHARMING, LOVE ME!" And then when they cut it instantly, from that cocky charm to him rocking back and forth outside?
It kind of reminded me of something I heard about Oscar Wilde, an anecdote about how he was at a dinner party, ruling it, and a guest left something at the house, a hat or something. And the guest came back to retrieve it and found Oscar pale, weak, drained - his being 'on' literally took it out of him. And I felt that with Blaine a bit, yet he is letting Kurt see it. And then the Gap guy comes out again, and he's ON again, like a light switch.
And he gets totally schooled, which was absolutely deserved, and oh, Kurt "Can I be honest? Just, with the hair? I think they do." Bitch, I have MISSED you. But the guy gently talks down to him, in a very similar way to him talking down to Kurt in episode 9 (albeit very different subject matter). And that in particular isn't something I'd thought about, but it works SO beautifully. It just fits everything, like.. Blaine's incapability to actually think rationally.
The second scene back at the coffee shop though - that was the one. That was what made my life. There is nothing about it that wasn't perfect. I love that he goes more camp when petulant and sulky. Look I just need to post the dialogue.
Blaine: Ugh. Don’t they have anything here that isn’t covered with stupid little hearts? Gross.
Kurt: Well, you’ve certainly changed your tune.
Blaine: I don’t think I’ve ever made that big a fool of myself. Which is really saying something because I’ve performed at theme parks. I just— I can’t believe I made it all up in my head.
Kurt: Okay, can I ask you something? Because we’ve always been completely honest with each other. You and I— we hang out… we sing flirty duets together… you know my coffee order… Was I supposed to think that that was nothing?
Blaine: What do you mean?
Kurt: I thought the guy that you wanted to ask out on Valentine’s Day was me.
Blaine: Wow. I really am clueless. Look, Kurt… I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do. And I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is… I’ve never really been anyone’s boyfriend.
Kurt: Me neither.
Blaine: Let me be really clear about something. I really, really care about you. But as you, and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, I’m not very good at romance. I don’t want to screw this up.
Kurt: So, it’s just like ‘When Harry Met Sally’. But I get to play Meg Ryan.
Blaine: Deal. … Don’t they get together in the end?
Kurt: Could I get a non-fat mocha and a medium drip for my friend Billy Crystal?
Blaine: You know my coffee order.
First of all. I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do. - Can I really say anything about that except to point upwards? I can't BELIEVE they actually just came out and said it. It's... amazing and my heart, you guys. Blaine.
The words on the page don't actually do it justice. Watch it. Then watch it again. Kurt's frankness is amazing, and I am proud of him - really proud of him. Like, he's not even.. he's hurt, but that's not why he's saying it. He's not whining to Blaine. He's trying to help him, and make him more self aware. But Darren's looks and delivery are.. superb. This isn't a confident 'oh I really care about you as a friend' brush-off. At all. Blaine is so lost, and so vulnerable, and so freaking unaware because he had taken himself out of the headspace of being aware. He's not like 'I'm a fucking idiot for leading you on.' he's just like 'i'm a fucking idiot.'
My thoughts on their relationship, now? Are that he met the Gap guy since he's known Kurt, since he has repressed and forgotten about his attraction to Kurt. So he really wasn't leading Kurt on, he really was unaware. But Kurt said that and he was just like 'oh, shit, what have I been DOING?' He wasn't consciously thinking about Kurt that way... however, it is now conscious and on the table and even though they've friend-zoned themselves, it's going to start niggling at Blaine. I predict he won't be able to stop thinking about it.
I just re-watched that scene and I think that in the same moments that Blaine says that he isn't good at romance and that he doesn't want to screw up a relationship with Kurt, as soon as Kurt accepts and lets go, Blaine consciously realizes that Kurt's the One. The looks that he gave him after that are so thoughtful, and so approving, like he's just let himself give into something, or woken up to something. This is endgame. I don't know how long it will take and I don't mind. I suspect Kurt may date someone else first. But this is the long game. What I said about the being ON thing? If Kurt's the only one Blaine is OFF around, sooner or later he will realize what that means - he might have just realized that already. Ever since it was announced that he was doing Silly Love Songs, it has struck me as how fucking appropriate it is lyrically for him, and the episode enforced it even more. (Teenage Dream is always stupidly, sappily appropriate to me too "I know you get me, so I let my walls come down")
But seriously? "Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know." - that is flippant Blaine to a tee, and then the later lyric "I only know that when I'm in it... it isn't silly at all." - that's him and Kurt. Blaine is going to be in love with Kurt, real, adult love, but he maybe does not realize yet that that's what is developing, because he has only had ridic, over the top crushes before.
The one thing that the episode really Jossed for me was that Blaine has never had a boyfriend. I totally buy it, and I like that development, but I think in the back of my mind I always felt that he had had one, or two, but been the 'Kurt' in the situation - the younger/more inexperienced partner. Which is why when we saw the leaked video for When I Get You Alone, we were all like 'oh, yeah, okay' about the dude. But what they've done makes sense and I am more than cool with it, very cool with Blaine's fail coming from being totally inexperienced, delusional and fantastical.
But - if you got through this whole post, congrats - you see my point about how much this episode confirmed. I am still air punching.
I just... this character, you guys. I am HOOKED on him. I am so in love with everything this show is choosing to be right now.
Firstly: You know how I said that if anything, Darren playing him hinders my love of Blaine, rather than enhances it? You need to know how weird it is for me to be writing about, shipping, and analyzing the shit out of a character Darren plays. It feels very, very, very strange, almost like if one of you guys created or played a character and I was like, way too into it for it to be uncreepy. (I guess I DO kind of do this with The Wolf House, actually. Sorry,
sharpest_rose.)But I don't even see Darren when I look at Blaine in character. I can't see him at all. That being said, let us put aside my ongoing Darren Criss Celebrity Conflict and focus on the fact that he is really... really, and truly, an OUTSTANDING actor. I will take down anyone who says otherwise (and oh, people are trying to say otherwise, that he over-acts and isn't subtle, etc, etc.)
I was going to write this post during the Glee hiatus, but then I thought no, I'll wait to see what they give us in the Superbowl/V-Day episodes, I'll just wait. But now I wish I HADN'T waited, so I would have written, dated proof that my head-canon (a lot of the fandom's head-canon) matched what they're actually doing and that we got that head-canon from what has been shown just from episodes 6 - 10 of this season. Due to what Darren put into the few minutes of screen time that he got.
Firstly, I am going to ramble about the stuff that I built about Blaine. Then I will address how the new episodes confirm/deny that, and what I think it all means.
You don't even know, guys, I am SO relieved. Both Ryan and Darren are like blah blah yes Blaine will have layers and... yes, I saw the potential, obviously. I saw what I thought Darren was doing with it, but I was scared that he was.. wasting his energy. Because this is GLEE. Ryan Murphy, God love him, does not create characters with layers, he creates one-dimensional characters who eventually get layers added later on, often extremely contradictory ones. So I have been wondering... and wondering and wondering.. how much of what we saw of Blaine's behavior - not his words, not the script, but his actions, expressions, his fucking eyes, was due to actual direction, and how much was Darren just making it up - making the character look deeper than the writers actually planned to make him. Just watching his eyes in the Don't Cry For Me Argentina scene, guys, watch it again and I challenge you to read him.
This is my Blaine. This is what I saw, based on the scenes from before the hiatus:
He's a Dalton transfer, not a legacy, so while he may possibly come from money, he didn't grow up in that environment like most of the Dalton boys did. This could be one of three things: a) he was messed over at another private school, b) he's rich but he chose to try going to a public school, or or c) that he actually comes from a relatively 'normal' family and isn't the heir to the Vanderbilt fortune or anything (we will save my meta on how Blaine = Anderson Cooper for another day.) I'm thinking it's a) or c), but he's not irreverent about money. I know a lot of very wealthy people - my immediate family include very, very wealthy people, multi-millionares (no, I have no claim on that money :P) and I went to a very Dalton-esque private school in one of the wealthiest areas in Sydney. The biggest tell, when a wealthy person is a douchebag, is whether they act like money matters - whether they acknowledge something as objectively expensive, even if they can easily afford it, and Blaine does. He says that "tuition at Dalton is kinda steep" - he understands that affording it easily makes him privileged. So that tells us something about his background - that even if he's rich, he's not a snob, not oblivious and he doesn't need to check his privilege.
His two most outstanding qualities are that he is desperately good-hearted and that he has a chronic need for approval. This means that for every single person he meets, he needs to fit the mold for whatever place they need him in in their life.
When it comes to Kurt - he was instantly, maybe even subconsciously, attracted to him. This is not my own meta. This happens. I have a gif of it. I doubt most of you have rewound and hashed the hell out of this like me and my comm have, but when he meets Kurt on the stairs, his jaw drops and he just, drinks him in. Just for two seconds, and then he pulls himself together, introduces himself, and pulls Kurt off by the hand (for no reason except to touch?), and Teenage Dream happens, which is just ridiculously unsubtle. Because Blaine only knows how to sing his feelings - more below on this.
Of course Kurt being there did not inspire Blaine to sing Teenage Dream. It was planned already. Some people speculate that it WAS put on for Kurt - not because Blaine was attracted, but because they knew there was a spy wandering around the school, and they wanted to show him what they were bringing. But either way, this did not stop Blaine choosing to sing the whole thing to Kurt, minutes after they met. This is because Blaine is a flirt. Blaine is a flirt because Blaine desperately needs approval from every person he meets. His actions in Teenage Dream are not sleazy, not even that cocky. It isn't arrogance or showing off. It's just 'like me, please like me, look at me and approve of me.'
So for like half an hour or whatever, he allows himself to be attracted, whether it is conscious or instinctual I don't know. But the second he finds out Kurt's problems, he firmly shuts that door in his mind and tries to be what Kurt needs - a mentor, a guide, support, someone who isn't asking anything of him.
Kurt does not know it, but Blaine has never been in that position before. All-Around-Nice-Guy Blaine who will give you the shirt off his back, yes, but he has NOT been in that dominant mentor position before. He is not a gay Yoda, he is not some great leader, he is a seventeen year old boy who left his last school because he could not handle half of what Kurt is handling. He takes on roles for people and does them until they feel real - forgets they were ever NOT real. When he represses things, he represses them so much that he forgets they were things he was repressing, they just become fact. And he thinks that Kurt needs him in that way. So he's repressed the fact he's attracted to Kurt and acts like the white knight who knows exactly how to handle all of Kurt's problems when he couldn't handle his own.
Which is why he sucks so badly at it. Honey, you can have a suave, sure voice all you like, but your advice fucking SUCKS. It SUCKS. Yes, Blaine does not know the full extent of Kurt's drama - the fact he uses the word 'taunted' enforces to me that his was much less physical - but he encourages Kurt to confront the people who are physically attacking him and as a result the whole Karofsky thing happens. Blaine blames himself for it. He was projecting his own guilt about running away and not standing up for himself onto Kurt - trying to redeem himself through encouraging Kurt - and it fucked Kurt over. Which is one of the reasons he'd take off in the middle of a school day and drive two hours to McKinley to help Kurt. I'm sure he would help him even if he had nothing to do with it, but he DEFINITELY feels responsible.
God, if I keep writing this much this is going to end up being ten thousand words no fucking problem. Have some dot points.
- He feels the need to do the right thing morally even when he disapproves personally (reaching out to Karofsky even when his tone was dripping with contempt for him)
- He tries very hard to be in control but has trouble hiding his emotions when they are snarky or bitter - "Kurt told me what you did." "I even complained about it to the faculty."
- It takes a lot for him to swear.
- He's very tactile with people who will allow him to be. He finds comfort through touch and assumes other people will find comfort from them touching him.
- He's a goof. His dapperness is part of his goofiness - it's a conscious affectation. The other Dalton guys are legitimately, mindlessly, woodenly polite, but he does the dapper thing and it's kind of an outlet. Because his natural goofy self was kind of reined in pretty fast when he saw no one else acted like that. His old-worldlyness like the pocket watch and some of his little gestures (start of Baby It's Cold Outside) are all conscious, dorky affectations. He admires the old world, the imagery, class and style of old Hollywood and the Fifties.
- That being said, he IS polite - not because he has to be, but because he is naturally earnest and courteous and good. And needs people to like him. His interactions with Rachel, Will and Mercedes show that pretty clearly, Mercedes especially because I am 100% certain he privately did not appreciate Mercedes 'tuning out' while he discussed the basic human rights of himself and Mercedes' best friend. Kind of also another example of him not being able to stand up for himself very well.
- Because of the whole fitting the mold thing, he goes out of his way to adapt at Dalton. He can't just be like, bare minimum fitting in, his need for approval means he needs to go above and beyond. This includes the hair. Not everyone at the school has hair that controlled - look at that guy with the 'fro in the Warblers. But most people take it as absolute canon that Blaine had The Hair - you know, Darren's actual hair - before Dalton and he adapted to this style in his attempt to become a perfect image of fitting in.
- He's more natural with Kurt, especially off-campus. Be it goofier, camper, more boisterous, less lecturing, whatever. He uses a different VOICE. He doesn't even realize it most of the time, doesn't realize he acts differently, but the more he gets close to Kurt, the more he starts to see Dalton/the Warblers through Kurt's eyes and the more he starts to question things.
- Part of this may be to do with the fact he finds Kurt delightful - laughing at Kurt's jokes about Pavarotti in front of the Warblers - and realizing no one else approves. That causes him a bunch of conflict - you know when he wankily starts using the royal We after Kurt's first rehearsal? I think he's really conflicted, like this has WORKED for him for so long and now here is this other boy, who has had SUCH an awful time and dealt with so much, but is still willing to be himself, be vulnerable, not hide himself in any way? I think that scares and confuses him, he admires and respects Kurt for not caring that people disapprove, and it reminds him that he's not the same way. He probably hasn't been reminded of that in a long time, he's just been doing his thing and has had no one shaking him up, none of the Dalton guys know him well enough to assume he's anything other than the role he portrays.
- Someone in my comm wrote something brilliant, that when Blaine was saying "you'll fit in soon enough," he wasn't saying "you have to fit in." he was saying "you get to." And he wants Dalton to work for Kurt, help Kurt in the same way it helped him. He wants Kurt to feel like he's a part of it. And at the same time that Kurt is actually listening to him and running with his idiotic gilded-canary-cage metaphors, Blaine, the more time he spends with Kurt, is realizing that it maybe isn't working for HIM. He fights it, but being around Kurt reminds him of who he is under the mask, and he starts to feel the cage himself, whereas before Kurt he'd forgotten there were bars there. It also, as I said above, scared the shit out of him because he has not seen someone so unbothered by expressing themselves. Blaine's not ashamed or afraid of being gay - in the sheer technicality of liking men - and no one at Dalton cares/can harass him for that, but they can and do severely disapprove of his individual personality, being informal or non-traditional, or being "weird."
- He's the front man of the Warblers - but he isn't the leader. He's liked and respected, but he isn't on the council. He was put into his position as front man by other people, because he's good - captivating and energetic - but not because he fought to have the solos or anything. That's why he says to Kurt 'you won't make it as a Warbler if all you care about is getting noticed.' - He has no arrogance when he performs - he's not Kurt or Rachel. (That being said, he really does like to make an entrance.) He's in that position because it simply just fit him the best, maybe even because he couldn't blend properly with others - not like Kurt can't/doesn't want to, but a literal physical inability to be co-ordinated. However, they do need a front man, so it works for him to be in that position. But the council want to reprimand him every time he doesn't take things quite serious enough - pulls faces, does something unchoreographed. They let him get away with it because audiences love him.
- When he's performing and goes off-script, it's the only time he feels free, like truly himself. He is subconsciously restless and needs an outlet.
- He doesn't handle going off-script in the real world very well, though. He is an idealist, a romantic, and he plans out situations, has a very set idea of How They Should Go. When they don't go how he plans, he does not know what to do - freezes up, doesn't know how to make the situation keep working in his favor. Like Karofsky pushing him into the fence. Or Kurt doing Don't Cry For Me Argentina - god, his face in that scene was incredible, it was full of so much awe and so much conflict.
- The last main point that is taken as absolute canon is that he will transfer to McKinley. With Kurt, or a while after. So he can face his running-away regrets, and not be stifled.
So yeah. This, and more, is all stuff that I, and other people in the fandom, drew from what was seen in the three episodes Blaine was in up until Christmas. There's more, I am sure there is more, stuff that will come to mind every now and then. I associate a million songs with him, which is something I very rarely do for characters - I don't automatically hear songs and think 'oh, good theme song for so-and-so' but for Blaine it happens all the time. I have a playlist. I have NEVER drawn so much meta, so much canon, from a character I'd seen only snippets about. The only one comparable is Remus Lupin. I seriously - Blaine grabs something in me, I am SO invested in him, and it's 100% not because of Darren. As I said, Darren could be a douchebag, or a nobody, or a robot they activate to play Blaine, but as long as Blaine was played like this, I would still be invested like this. I always expected to support Darren on Glee and like his character, but I NEVER expected to love him this much. NEVER.
And I have never felt so validated.
Superbowl: had not too much. More of his insane hyperactivity while performing, going above and beyond this time. More of the 'liking to make an entrance' thing - god, Bills Bills Bills was INSANE. I didn't like it that much musically, but as an entire scene, god, it was so good. And Blaine is so... well.. Blaine. Climbing on the furniture, getting all up in people's business - you know that if he was doing this while NOT performing, he would be heavily chastised. It is an outlet for his restless energy and I did not expect it to be this nuts.
He seems closer to Kurt and more comfortable with him, like they've really become really good friends and leveled up a bit. There's something about Kurt's concentration and their interaction in BBB that makes me think it was actually a number they/Kurt put forward to the Warblers, but that really has nothing to do with anything else, it was just a vibe I got. But they seem like a pretty solid team and I think that Blaine has latched on to Kurt as a friend, not just because Kurt needed him, but because he realized he needs Kurt too.
I was not at ALL expecting the coffee date with Rachel and Mercedes - loved it for like one million reasons though. Kurt/Rachel friendship, Kurt bringing Rachel and Mercedes together as friends, Rachel/Blaine friendship... but also, Blaine calling Kurt on his Finn bullshit. I LOVED it, it killed me. Very subtle but shows the shift in dynamic and shows that they are getting very, very comfortable. That whole thing kind of implies that Dalton isn't a boarding school though, which is offtopic but I refuse to accept, because so much else contradicts it (Kurt hadn't talked to Finn since the wedding, Baby It's Cold Outside was at NIGHT, Kurt keeps his pet bird at school, plus it'd mean Kurt drove 4 hours a day). So until they insist otherwise, I am saying that Kurt meant 'every night that he's home' like on weekends. Because just no. Anyway. The girls seem very comfortable with Blaine which makes me think this is a fairly frequent occurrence, and I like that they're comfortable and integrating. It gives me hope for the future, and hopefully will kill all those fics about people thinking Blaine is another Jesse.
My favorite thing though was Blaine talking in a really, well, normal voice. Not his Dalton voice, not his Mentor Voice, he's just being normal with them. And stuffing his face. Love. And Kurt being like 'Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves.' This killed me mainly because, from all the spoiler pictures that had been leaking, I was already calling Blaine 'Scarf Guy' - seriously, you guys, it his is only fashion outlet. He wears his uniform, his peacoat, and at least three, possibly four different scarves over the space of this week's two episodes. All different sorts of tartan/stripe as well as a Buckeyes one (Darren must have been dying inside, the fact they made Blaine a Buckeyes fan never fails to amuse me) and so yeah, Scarf Guy. And then Kurt said that! And I died.
Him at the football game was all sorts of cute. I am glad they've stopped shooting it like Chris is smaller than Darren - they must have realized they couldn't keep up those angles forever. But I want interaction with Burt like... now. Right now.
Now for the big one - SILLY LOVE SONGS. Otherwise known as THE EPISODE THAT VALIDATED THREE MONTHS OF HEAD-CANON THAT WOULD SIMPLY NOT LEAVE ME ALONE.
First up: ANDERSON! It's canon, bitches. Fandom has been using this name for him for a while, someone at Darren's gig before Christmas asked him Blaine's last name and he said Anderson. We had no idea if he just made it up, or if it was in the character spec always and as yet-unused, and I still don't know. Either way, it's there now. Either they'd already shot this/it was in the character spec, or it's fan service, but it is canon and it is delightful. I love how, when we were watching the live stream (SO worth it, by the way) my Twitter just lit up with about 5 tweets in a row from people actively involved in the comm all just shrieking "ANDERSON!"
Asides from that..
Oh my god just every fucking scene? How? Perfect? How?
First coffee scene: I just died. Oh, every scene is going to be me just saying "I just died." But the chemistry and comfortability in arguing - they are seriously leveling up more and more and while some people may be into that because it means more likely for them to get together... while I do want that, god, so much, I actually am just excited at Blaine chilling the fuck out. And yes, of COURSE Blaine is a romantic and Kurt is a cynic. Of course. As if it would be any other way.
I also just died over how much trouble Blaine has talking about his feelings, he is beyond coy to the point of finding it quite hard to get his words out. The coffee ordering though is so sweet, so smooth, so natural and if I were Kurt I would be swooning all over the place too. And he's being charming, again, with the server, because god forbid somebody, somewhere, does not like Blaine Anderson.
The Dalton scene: so this post is about Blaine and oh yes, you are getting another post about the two episodes in general because I think they're the best two episodes in Glee's history, but oh god, Kurt's face when he's doodling and Blaine comes over and he looks up. It is probably the happiest I have ever seen another human being. GOD. LOVE Blaine's obvious nervousness and again, his need to touch. Do you see how this is all fitting together?
The Warbler council meeting is the one that really, truly made me air-punch.
Most importantly: Blaine says he is not very good at talking about his feelings. That he is better at singing them. It's funny, to me, to hear that and go 'well, yeah, duh, of course, that's Blaine to a tee' and then think 'okay the majority of viewers of this show probably haven't thought about this before, at all.' - but yes. Of course. Like I said, the performance is the outlet.. and look at what he's performed to Kurt so far.
I also adore that he is visibly nervous and that the reaction is bad. Wes, and his gavel, and his BRILLIANT delivery of that line about the Spirit of St Louis. It was SO funny. But yes, this all fits the 'Blaine, we need you, but please SIT THE FUCK DOWN' vibe that I got.
And then the clincher - he loses some of his control. And calls them "privileged, porcelain birds." Um, HUGE. HUGE. Especially after his behavior to Kurt in episode 9. He is changing, he is taking an outside perspective, he is taking risks, he is separating himself. I didn't expect to see it happen so soon. And you know it's because of having Kurt as a friend and waking the fuck up. And as soon as it all gets angry, he looks so lost, so lost - his face when Kurt rescues him is... well, it's something.
Um, the sleepover scene is fucking amazeballs and touched every part of my desperate Kurt/Rachel BFF heart. I do not care much for Mercedes but I do like the consistent development of her and Rachel being close in Kurt's absence. And I love that Kurt is self-aware and what it leads him to do in the next scene.
The Gap: I seriously. I can't even. I just. DIED. We got the performance leaked last week so I knew what was coming, but nothing on earth prepared me for that dialogue at the start.
NO WORDS.
There are no words. Kurt is BRILLIANT. I love this, I LOVE it, I love that he's not all fucked up. Like, compare it to the insane shit he did to Rachel last year while trying to get Finn? And with Blaine he's like 'I am just... severely judging you.' Because yeah, he likes him, but he's NOT delusional about him, despite thinking he made the whole thing up in his head. He's not delusional and not like 'you can do no wrong' - there's no pedestal. Because they're genuinely friends, all things aside. And then, even better, SUPPORTING him - 'Man up, you're amazing, he's going to love you.' Guys, a part of me will never recover from that. I wish I could be one fifth of the human being Kurt is.
I said this a bunch when the performance clip was leaked, but you see a bit more obviously in the flow of the episode - Blaine being nervous. Blaine visibly putting himself together, gathering himself. That was all the validation I needed, fuck the rest of the episode, that was literally all I needed to know.. just KNOW.. that I had been right in what I had built about him. Just the putting on of the mask, plus the bit with the socks at the end. That was all I needed.
When I Get You Alone is the most ridiculous, amazing, inappropriate and fucking sexy performance this show has ever done. SO HOT. BUT SO STUPID.
When it leaked, my first comment on the post was BLAINE IS A CRAZY PERSON. AND I LOVE IT.
You guys, he thinks that this is a VALID LIFE CHOICE. Do I need to explain this further? This is a person who gets it into his head that this is a GOOD IDEA because he thinks life is a movie or some shit. It makes me love him SO HARD. I feel bad for Kurt, I do, but I actually feel worse for Blaine because he is fucking delusional if he thinks this is a good idea.
(Look, I'm sorry but be honest. The whole situation must be summed up as this.
"Hey Kurt, come here, I wanna show you somethin' come here…"
"Hey, Blaine Anderson…"
"Listen, I wanna play this song I'm working on. I met this guy that I really, really like and I wanna let him know that he's really special, so I just wanna know what you think."
"Wow, wowee Blaine Anderson!"
"Don't you think, you know, it could make a guy fall in love with me?"
"Oh, I think it already has…"
"Awesome, cause it's for THE GUY AT THE GAP!"
"Oh yeah, he is beautiful…"
"What are you nuts, beautiful? More like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot! He's the hottest guy I've ever met, far more attractive, far more appealing, and far more interesting than any guy that I know, in my immediate group of friends.")
The sunglasses. Not even going to touch on that. If you know me and you know Darren, you get it and I just.. I can't, I can't.
I love how he gains confidence through the song, gets all goofy and cocky, like gets into it and starts thinking 'yes! this is totally going to work!' And at first the dude is kind of eye-rolling and indulgent and then he (and Kurt) are both just like... 'oh wow no, he went too far' and Blaine has no idea.
Blaine Anderson = a creeper who projects and I LOVE HIM FOR IT FOR SOME REASON.
God, it sounded and looked awesome though. They KILLED it and Darren's growls on 'you make me sick' and 'my father's last name' - um, I would not have been as resistant as the GAP guy.
Off topic.
Just, oh, the SOCKS. You may have seem me screaming SOCKS on Twitter. It killed me. "I'M CHARMING, LOVE ME!" And then when they cut it instantly, from that cocky charm to him rocking back and forth outside?
It kind of reminded me of something I heard about Oscar Wilde, an anecdote about how he was at a dinner party, ruling it, and a guest left something at the house, a hat or something. And the guest came back to retrieve it and found Oscar pale, weak, drained - his being 'on' literally took it out of him. And I felt that with Blaine a bit, yet he is letting Kurt see it. And then the Gap guy comes out again, and he's ON again, like a light switch.
And he gets totally schooled, which was absolutely deserved, and oh, Kurt "Can I be honest? Just, with the hair? I think they do." Bitch, I have MISSED you. But the guy gently talks down to him, in a very similar way to him talking down to Kurt in episode 9 (albeit very different subject matter). And that in particular isn't something I'd thought about, but it works SO beautifully. It just fits everything, like.. Blaine's incapability to actually think rationally.
The second scene back at the coffee shop though - that was the one. That was what made my life. There is nothing about it that wasn't perfect. I love that he goes more camp when petulant and sulky. Look I just need to post the dialogue.
Blaine: Ugh. Don’t they have anything here that isn’t covered with stupid little hearts? Gross.
Kurt: Well, you’ve certainly changed your tune.
Blaine: I don’t think I’ve ever made that big a fool of myself. Which is really saying something because I’ve performed at theme parks. I just— I can’t believe I made it all up in my head.
Kurt: Okay, can I ask you something? Because we’ve always been completely honest with each other. You and I— we hang out… we sing flirty duets together… you know my coffee order… Was I supposed to think that that was nothing?
Blaine: What do you mean?
Kurt: I thought the guy that you wanted to ask out on Valentine’s Day was me.
Blaine: Wow. I really am clueless. Look, Kurt… I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do. And I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is… I’ve never really been anyone’s boyfriend.
Kurt: Me neither.
Blaine: Let me be really clear about something. I really, really care about you. But as you, and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, I’m not very good at romance. I don’t want to screw this up.
Kurt: So, it’s just like ‘When Harry Met Sally’. But I get to play Meg Ryan.
Blaine: Deal. … Don’t they get together in the end?
Kurt: Could I get a non-fat mocha and a medium drip for my friend Billy Crystal?
Blaine: You know my coffee order.
First of all. I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do. - Can I really say anything about that except to point upwards? I can't BELIEVE they actually just came out and said it. It's... amazing and my heart, you guys. Blaine.
The words on the page don't actually do it justice. Watch it. Then watch it again. Kurt's frankness is amazing, and I am proud of him - really proud of him. Like, he's not even.. he's hurt, but that's not why he's saying it. He's not whining to Blaine. He's trying to help him, and make him more self aware. But Darren's looks and delivery are.. superb. This isn't a confident 'oh I really care about you as a friend' brush-off. At all. Blaine is so lost, and so vulnerable, and so freaking unaware because he had taken himself out of the headspace of being aware. He's not like 'I'm a fucking idiot for leading you on.' he's just like 'i'm a fucking idiot.'
My thoughts on their relationship, now? Are that he met the Gap guy since he's known Kurt, since he has repressed and forgotten about his attraction to Kurt. So he really wasn't leading Kurt on, he really was unaware. But Kurt said that and he was just like 'oh, shit, what have I been DOING?' He wasn't consciously thinking about Kurt that way... however, it is now conscious and on the table and even though they've friend-zoned themselves, it's going to start niggling at Blaine. I predict he won't be able to stop thinking about it.
I just re-watched that scene and I think that in the same moments that Blaine says that he isn't good at romance and that he doesn't want to screw up a relationship with Kurt, as soon as Kurt accepts and lets go, Blaine consciously realizes that Kurt's the One. The looks that he gave him after that are so thoughtful, and so approving, like he's just let himself give into something, or woken up to something. This is endgame. I don't know how long it will take and I don't mind. I suspect Kurt may date someone else first. But this is the long game. What I said about the being ON thing? If Kurt's the only one Blaine is OFF around, sooner or later he will realize what that means - he might have just realized that already. Ever since it was announced that he was doing Silly Love Songs, it has struck me as how fucking appropriate it is lyrically for him, and the episode enforced it even more. (Teenage Dream is always stupidly, sappily appropriate to me too "I know you get me, so I let my walls come down")
But seriously? "Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know." - that is flippant Blaine to a tee, and then the later lyric "I only know that when I'm in it... it isn't silly at all." - that's him and Kurt. Blaine is going to be in love with Kurt, real, adult love, but he maybe does not realize yet that that's what is developing, because he has only had ridic, over the top crushes before.
The one thing that the episode really Jossed for me was that Blaine has never had a boyfriend. I totally buy it, and I like that development, but I think in the back of my mind I always felt that he had had one, or two, but been the 'Kurt' in the situation - the younger/more inexperienced partner. Which is why when we saw the leaked video for When I Get You Alone, we were all like 'oh, yeah, okay' about the dude. But what they've done makes sense and I am more than cool with it, very cool with Blaine's fail coming from being totally inexperienced, delusional and fantastical.
But - if you got through this whole post, congrats - you see my point about how much this episode confirmed. I am still air punching.
I just... this character, you guys. I am HOOKED on him. I am so in love with everything this show is choosing to be right now.
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