[personal profile] cookiedough
Glee. Oh, Glee. Oh, Blaine.

First off: What, there was a New Directions plot? Sorry, I guess I can't hear it over the sound of my Kurt/Blaine heart palpitations.

Things I Loved:

- Um, basically the whole episode, every single scene? Can I just say that? No, let me tell you why, what I got from each scene.

- Misery is the strongest number done by the Warblers after Teenage Dream. I like Hey Soul Sister better, but Misery was the best. Man, the table-drumming was EPIC. It was almost a waste to have used such a great take - with such appropriate lyrics if it HAD been Blaine pining - for a totally out-of-context rehearsal, but it was so cute, and so worth it for the conversation that it spawned. I love how during it, Blaine is all 'play with me! Kurt! Play with me! PLAY WITH ME!' and at first doesn't understand Kurt's pissiness, because he doesn't think like that - I've said before that I don't think Blaine is at all competitive or driven like Kurt and Rachel, he is fine with the spotlight he is given but he's not really seeking it himself so it doesn't occur to him. There will be more on this later because he demonstrates this several times during the episode, and I am glad that bit of head-canon was confirmed for me.

Straight away I loved that conversation, just how honest it was, like Kurt being super bitchy and open about his envy and about calling Blaine out - he's come to terms with his crush, the feelings are still there but he has no hero-worship or need to please any more. Because they've got past that, and are friends despite everything. I love it, it is so open and so real, and as I said, Blaine doesn't fight back because it just hadn't occurred to him that people might be jealous, because he wouldn't be jealous of them in the reverse position.

Kurt's genuine affection for Pavarotti - the baby-voice and the whistling - was so sweet that it really hurt when he died. Yes, they did add in a bit of black humor in the dialogue but it was still NOT RIDICULOUS which I appreciated. God, the Warblers argument before Kurt steps in destroys me though - THIS IS A KANGAROO COURT. Warblers, please please please don't leave me. Please.

- Blackbird was... so much more than I expected. The vocals were flawless, it's a perfect song for Chris, and I loved the recording we got earlier in the week. And a lot of people are saying "who would have thought that would pertain to Blaine?" and I will raise my hand and say, er, I did? I really did think it would be a big metaphor for Blaine - but maybe at the end of the episode and more to do with the Dalton/cage metaphor and something to do with transferring to McKinley. I did NOT expect what happened. But as soon as Blaine started looking at Kurt I knew. I went straight to Twitter and was like 'And there it is. He just let himself fall in love.' It was so palpable and so genuine and fuck, you guys. It was AMAZINGLY done. Screw the haters who say Darren can't act/is too OTT because what the fuck, that was some MVP shit right there. It was beautiful, and painful. And you know what the best part was? It was Kurt that he was waking up to - the real Kurt. Not the broken, worn out, listless boy he first met or the one who gave him hero-worship or the one who toned himself down to fit into Dalton. Kurt's come back into himself - he's bitchy and blunt again, got his diva back, isn't scared of expressing his discontent, even to the person he adores (one of my favorite things EVER of Kurt's was his voiceover in Endless Love - "I could so sing this song with Finn - but screw him if he thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part from me." - it killed me. HBIC.) He's not wearing his fricking uniform. And he's emotional again - wearing his heart on his sleeve again, rather than tucking everything in like he's been doing for a while. Singing this song with tears streaming down his face, like they do in New Directions, not even caring that this Glee Club do not operate like that and that they don't sing their feelings. He needs to, so he's going to. And in that moment, he's himself again. And THAT'S what Blaine falls in love with.

Do you know how satisfying and perfect that is? Do you?


- The next rehearsal scene pretty much gave me stomach pains. Blaine, you little angel. The Warblers ass-kissing him made me lol SO hard. I love their OTT formality more than life, you guys, and just.. wow. Blaine, you have come such a long way. And all you needed was someone to make you aware that you had a way to come. You picked up the baton like a champ. And he was so soft and smitten and loving and obvious, except to Kurt apparently, who, by the way, killed me with his click-wink-fingerpointing. Wes totally knew, by the way. Either Blaine told him or him and Blaine are very close and he knows. He didn't join in the ass-kissing at all OR in yelling about Blaine's proposal, and he is usually the most vocal about anything like that. And his face when he voted for Kurt to do the solo was so, so soft and smug. It built like, a whole new world of head-canon for me which I need someone to write. Wes, I will miss you and your gavel.

- The craft table scene. What can I say. It is seriously more than I ever, ever could have hoped - I didn't have faith in the show to do it properly. It could have so easily been rushed and unrealistic, like Blaine just deciding on a whim that he's friend-zoned Kurt long enough and he might as well have a go. it never would have been equal and it always would have felt like Blaine didn't really choose Kurt. But it wasn't like that, it so wasn't, because Darren had sold Blackbird to me so well. I did not know it was coming, and I was just like 'he just let himself fall in love' and I wasn't sure if it was just me and that it was actually going to be 'oh Kurt should sing for Regionals' then went in discussion post and everyone was like 'OH HE JUST GOT IT' and STILL I didn't expect the kiss to come within the same episode but you know what, it fits because Blaine Anderson is a sweet and noble human being. He knows that he's messed Kurt around and led him on without realizing, and that now that he's sure, really really sure, he's not going to waste any more of Kurt's time. It really does fit so perfectly.

That scene was just... so perfect and so important. I love everything about it. Blaine's nervous and trembling and trying to be controlled in the voice from the second he speaks. You know how hard he practiced that speech about Candles? It's A LOT. It's so like.. not straight to the point at all, and yet it IS, like he's constructed it so that he knows what answers he has to give, but he can't quite bring himself to just come out and say it in a monologue, he needs Kurt to ask him the questions, and he knows what he needs to say but even when Kurt does ask, he still finds it hard to get it out.

And Kurt, my darling, darling Kurt, he is so resigned at first. Like, up until the last second, he is just going 'man, this sucks, I really still love you and you really still don't know how to be appropriate with me because you know I like you and we've had the 'leading me on' talk before.' Like, his tone when he asks why Blaine chose to do that song with him is not hurt or whiny, it's like 'oh, I have to set Blaine some boundaries again, he clearly doesn't realise what he's doing' AND THEN. AND THEN. The way Blaine pauses is amazing, and so shifty, like 'shit. He caught me out. I really... fuck. I really have to do this. okay.'

I'm sorry, I need to post the dialogue.

"Kurt, there is a moment.. when you say to yourself "oh! there you are! I've been looking for you forever.." Watching you do Blackbird this week.. that was the moment for me... about you.

You move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you."

You guys. That is not normal teenage shit. That is soulmate territory. I have also never heard someone put as much emotion into three words as Darren puts into 'you move me.' It was fucking HUGE.

You move me.

You move me.

This is so much... it was so much more than an 'I love you.' I'm glad it WASN'T 'I love you,' this show throws around that phrase like a pair of old socks. You move me. Kurt moves him, Blaine, this fake-perfect, mask-wearing, approval-seeking, always-in-control, this honestly fairly outwardly shallow person, who is a leader because others want someone to follow, who doesn't think too much because it's too scary... Kurt moves him. Makes him feel. Makes him care.

And Kurt is just sitting there going 'I'm not making this up in my head. I'm not making this up in my head. I'm not making this up in my head.' even when Blaine starts to kiss him. And then he starts to kiss back and I'm sort of in love with how he holds Blaine's face and how big his hands are. And, for some reason, I'm super obsessed with the huge thud when he's been thoroughly kissed out and he slams his hand back down on the table. It is so indelicate and it just makes me really happy that these are both fairly dominant boys despite Kurt being a bit of a fragile little flower last week. Somehow I don't see that problem lasting too long, particularly from the way they totally jumped each other on the next kiss. Which... wow. Wow. I was not expecting that second kiss and it still shocks me every time, how intense it is. They gave themselves such a good loophole as well to NOT do that, what with Kurt's issues about sex, it have them a huge scope of just very tentative touching and fade to blacks.. and yet, and yet they made them ATTACK each other. And I LOVE that they did that. Ryan, when the revolution comes, you will not be eaten.

My favorite part, though, might be the little moment in between the two kisses... I just love, love, love Kurt's little, tiny cheeky smug face - not his superior face, but he has this face he does sometimes when he is being a little bit bashful and smug at the same time, where he sort of purses his lips. It's.. impish. And he does it, like 'oh, really Blaine? Really?' and I LOVE beyond MEASURE Blaine's little fail-overwhelmed laugh. And the fact that they're both nearly crying and so happy and overwhelmed. In fact I think Blaine was on the verge of crying the whole scene. And Kurt's sass-flirting. GOD. WHAT IS AIR.

The scene before they went on at Regionals was one of my favorites because of how damn comfortable they are. They're only a few days into their relationship and still getting ridic amounts of joy just from expressing their feelings ('I think it's adorable. I think you're adorable.' Kurt's face there, GOD) and just... ahhh. Kurt being all "don't judge me... okay you can judge me." but he's also all smiley and the thing is it's not in a nervous way. Kurt's smiles are usually a) superior or b) shy and tentative. This was neither. It was so... I keep saying this, but comfortable. Open. Thrilled at each other's existence. Like they are the only two people in the world. If someone else has done a better analysis of this scene, please quote it at me because I can't say what I want to, I can't put my finger on it.

Candles - man, I fucking hate this song. I hate it when Hey Monday does it, I hate the fact that Glee is DOING Hey Monday because even though I don't like them, they're still tiny and scene and ours and it's WEIRD, and I didn't like the recorded Warblers version when it was released last week. But in the context of the show, I fucking cried. It was beautiful, just the looks and the emotion. Shit, shit, it was intense, and so happy, and so loving. It's funny, it's a break-up song, but the way they played that line: "some day you will get back everything you gave me" - in the original, that line is about revenge, or karma, or someone hurting, but with them, it is just love, love, love, especially from Blaine, like 'yes, I am here, thank you for waiting.' It KILLED me. As did the shots like the one below, of them facing each other with the audience in the background. This got to me for some reason, it was so vulnerable, and so naked, and they're so comfortable, like they're just a few days into settling into this relationship and they're in that stage of just wanting to show each other love.

Raise Your Glass was fun and awesome and for some reason, THIS is the moment where I just started bursting with pride for Darren. I just kind of got overwhelmed by how huge it was and what it all meant and just LOOK at him. I am SO proud of him, you guys, and I started really emotionally tweeting this at him on my re-watch, about how I hope this is everything he wants it to be and la la la la. Because seriously, I am.

He will never not be that guy to me, and that stupid moment when I fell for him utterly, when he gets all overwhelmed... that's him. That's this guy and this is happening and not only is it successful and entertaining, it's IMPORTANT. Some people are just born with a special quality about them and he's right at the top of that list. He was always going to change the world one way or another. And right now I am just so proud.

Anyway, back to Blaine.

Between his shruggish reaction onstage and Pav's funeral, it really cements for me that Blaine is not at ALL competitive, as mentioned above, or a diva in any way. I think he enjoys the performing, but doesn't care either way about the competition - and like we saw, he doesn't even really care about being lead, he was just put there and didn't question it. I've always thought that about him, that he was put into his inflated position by other people and just did his jolly best. But it did interest me that he said he orchestrated the duet - a competition duet - just to spend more time with Kurt. I mean, he knows Kurt is a good performance partner, but... what if it hadn't been good? He made up the excuses in order to be with Kurt and to make Kurt happy/give him the spotlight... I don't think it was because he thought they had a better chance at winning. I mean, it might be a true factor, he wasn't LYING, but that wasn't his motive for doing it.

The funeral was so awkward but sweet. There's something going on with Kurt, I'm sure, there is a big unspoken "I wanted to go to New York" or something like that, but we won't find that out until later and right now we just have Blaine being beautifully confident about their relationship and their segment of the episode ending on this gorgeous, supportive, healthy, new relationship which isn't awkward at all. Oh my god, how much do I love that Blaine is taking the piss out of himself about the GAP and that Kurt isn't hurt by it? This is so marvelous, like just... how solid they are because of how close they are as friends. It's not all fraught, they can take a LOT from each other - have already taken a lot from each other - and yet keep getting through it, over and over. And they will keep getting through it.

Kurt Hummel: I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved a fictional character and I have been with you nearly since the start. You inspire me - you are the only person, fictional or otherwise, who I have ever actively drawn strength from, like in a 'be like Kurt, Kurt could get through worse than this' kind of manner. I am sorry for what has happened to you, because I am sorry for all the people who you represent. But, my dear, dear darling - let me tell you something. You are going to WIN. You deserve this. You deserve your kiss. You deserve your boyfriend. I am so thrilled that all day I have hurt - in my heart and in my stomach. Not because I'm titillated or because I think it's pretty but because I am there with you and I as happy for you as I would be for myself.

Blaine Anderson: Have courage. You are going to need it. And I love you too. You also deserve this and I am glad you weren't 'punished' like some people seem to think you should be. You discovered what you felt and you went and attended to that right away. No sitting around struggling and pining. You did the right thing and I am proud of you.
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