30 days meme
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago




That's from 1992, and is the first photo I had on hand to bring into work to scan. I kind of wanted to find one of some fugly awkward twelve year old, but they're all in a suitcase somewhere and this one is on my wall. That's me and my little brother.

I saw Where The Wild Things Are with Nabii, Leo and Toy last night. Very beautiful but it kind of just made me feel disturbed and uncomfortable the whole way through, but I really felt shitty and in fact cried in the beginning part, before he went to the island, with his interactions with his sister and especially when he went to her room and destroyed the heart card that he had made for her. It really got to me and made me hope that my brother never loved me enough for him to have felt rejected and hurt by me that much. I don't think he ever did, and that also made me sad.

In other Shitty Family News, after my fight with my father a couple of weeks ago, we have not spoken. My stepmother came over to use the bathroom when they were driving somewhere, and he didn't even get out of the car. And then the other day we came home and found a bag of 2nd-hand bed linens and towels that they must have donated to us, but with no note or anything. Our family Christmas party is this Saturday, and yesterday he forwarded me a reminder about it, by email.

So I replied saying that I didn't like what was going on, and apologised for what I'd said and stated that the reason I hadn't apologised earlier isn't cause I didn't feel bad, but because I know how he reacts to apologies, and all this other stuff about how different things make different people happy, and how he made me feel like shit about things that usually make me feel fulfilled.

He replied saying "i still hope you can come. love aba"

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Does that mean I will come and he won't talk to me? I really don't fucking get it and I don't like it.

Emails from work:

Boss: Xmas shopping hour turned into almost 3 . It's like David jones knew I was coming and sent every large mum and their twins to block my way....
Me: Don't worry, we don't want you here anyway. Jokes, jokes, these are the jokes. We are having fun making the photocopier staple things. [[we only just discovered that it did this. novel.]]
Boss: Sticks and stones nat, I just gave ur present to a hobo.


The glorious and unexpected thing is he actually DID show up with Christmas presents for us. He gave me a trashy DVD called "Sugar and Spice" which is about cheerleaders who rob a bank. I had actually heard of this movie before he gave it to me, pathetically, which shows that he kind of knows my taste. His card, which was a folded piece of red printing paper, said "I was going to get you a Glee related pressie then Scarlett rightly pointed out u would prob have downloaded
everything already."

You guys, I really love him. He reminds me of a primary school child, nearly every day.




anthony, bullied at school
get your own back, now you are cool - or are you scared?
bunking off though you’re a toff
it’s all gone wrong again, you’ve got double math
and the teacher’s got no control
the boys all run riot, you will stay quiet
or you will die

tony at the back of the gym
smoke another one, your chances are slim
‘cos here they come again
and they got you on the ground
tasting blood again, at least it’s your own
when will you realise, it doesn't pay
to be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys?
so shut your mouth, start kicking the football
bang on the teeth, you’re off for a week boy

you may as well take it in the guts - it can’t get worse
take it in the guts - it can’t get worse that this
you’ll soon be old enough to leave them
and without a notion of a care
you’ll lift two fingers in the air to linger there

tony, you’re a bit of a mess
melted toblerone under your dress
if the kids could see you they would pass you right by
blue mascara running over your eye
when will you realise it doesn't pay
to be smarter than teachers, smarter than most boys?
shut your mouth, start kicking the football
bang on the teeth, you’re off for a week boy

anthony it could be worse
anthony it could be worse

they call you lord anthony, but hey - it could be worse
lord anthony, but hey - it could be worse
lord anthony, but hey - it kind of suits you anyway

you’ll soon be old enough to leave them
without a notion of a care
you’ll lift two fingers in the air to linger there


I also really fucking love this song, it's one of my favorite songs ever, but I never related it to anyone until now... Sing it if you know the words, kids!
I Made Him With My Brain – A Kurt Hummel/Chris Colfer Primer.


The scene: A typical American public high school hallway. We follow a hand clutching a large Slushie cup. Various people shriek, duck aside or pull up hoods of waterproof jackets as the hand passes by – a Slushie thrown in the face is this high school’s traditional bullying technique. This one has a particular target – we stop at a sweet-looking boy in a trilby and full-length clear plastic Dolce and Gabbana rain-coat. He takes in the Slushie and the person holding it – a tall, All-American boy who looks extremely reproachful and guilty about the situation he finds himself in – these two are friends. “Do it.” says the target, jaw set.

“I really don't want to, honestly, I know how picky you are about what products you use on your face…”

“But you've been getting so much pressure from the gorillas on the football team. I guess they didn't appreciate me resigning from the team and choosing Glee.”

“It probably would've went over better if you didn't announce it in the showers.”

“You are NOT gonna Slushie on my man Kurt.” – a group of their friends have arrived to witness this interaction. “Why wouldn't he? He's made his choice. He doesn't care about us losers any more.” another one adds.

“No! That's not true! It's just, if I don't do it, the guys on the team are gonna kick the crap out of me!”

“Well we can't have that, can we.” Kurt states, and grabs the Slushie from his friend’s grasp with both hands.

“What are you doing??”

“It’s called taking one for the team.” He throws the Slushie directly into his own face. Everyone is stunned. He wipes it out of his eyes, and we see he is furious, upset, but not crying and carrying on, just cold fury. “Now get out of here. And take some time to think whether or not any of your ‘friends’ on the football team would have done that for you.”


Let me tell you something, LiveJournal, and this is not an exaggeration in any way. The above is the best scene I have ever seen in a television show in my entire life and probably the reason why Glee is set to become my favourite show of all time. Now, I saw the pilot when they aired it six months back, but the show actually started airing week by week in early September - while I was on my overseas trip and not following any shows. So I missed five weeks of television and in the back of my mind knew that I had to get a hold of what I’d missed of Glee. Then, when I was travelling with Chris last month, we were at Merri’s and they were watching the show – just certain random song and dance numbers which I enjoyed a lot. Then they let it run, I was wandering in and out, going on the internet and looking after Chris, and it ended up on that scene that I described above. I literally was in jaw-drop shock, just being like ‘oh my god. oh my god. did you see that? Did everyone else just see that? No one else is close to tears right now. Why am I the only one reacting like this?’ I’m pretty sure everyone thought I was being a Crazy Person, but they very kindly put the first 8 episodes onto my iPod hard-drive for me to take home (this is in the 3 week break that happened between episode 8 and 9) and since then I have been obsessed to the extent where I am creeping myself out – like I’ve re-watched the entire series four times and there are certain scenes in certain episodes that I’ve watched more like 20 times. I think about it constantly, talk about it constantly, and listen to the music constantly.

When the Glee pilot aired back in... was it June, on Aussie television, I watched it with excitement, but I thought it was kind of tacky. I figured I’d still watch the show when it came on, because it’s about singing. I like things where people sing. That’s what you must understand first. The reason why I was always going to love this show is because way before I was into any sort of fantasy or sci-fi which makes up the majority of my fandoms now, I cared about singing and I cared about musicals. I wasn’t one of those ‘Broadway Fandom’ people, (which is such a totally intense fandom, btw) – musicals have just always evoked a lot of emotion in me since I was very little. I got into Buffy because of the quality of their musical episode – I’d seen plenty of episodes before that, but it was only when I saw that that I became a real Buffy geek and watched every single episode and got into fandom. And through Joss I got Firefly which means I learned to trust sci-fi (I have trouble just ‘rolling with’ made-up scientific concepts, I always want explanations of how it works and why) and I got Doctor Who and Torchwood and so on. Merlin’s another story because my other life-long passion since before the age of ten is medieval fantasy stuff, so that was always a given – but that was me. I liked knights and I liked singing.

I sung all the way from grade school to HSC (our last year of school) – I wasn’t great, but I wasn’t bad either. (those of you who have heard me singing along to Fall Out Boy may beg to differ, but I used to be decent, okay?!) I did not like performing on my own very much – stage fright and not enough talent - but I LOVED singing with a choir or in musicals. Honestly, in my school, or in Australian schools in general I think, interest in the performing arts is not mocked the way it is in the States. I never understood the whole ‘bank geek’ stereotype. And on American television or in films, the only performing arts stuff you get is when it’s like, Fame, or Centre Stage - or even Camp, which is a FANTASTIC movie - but these are all focused solely around a performing arts school where everyone is in the same boat and the people who are the most talented are the most popular. I honestly can’t think of a show on American network television that’s had this kind of focus and I think that the fact it even exists is amazing and is a truly great opportunity for regular kids in regular schools to find singing ‘cool.’ As I said, it’s a prejudice that I never encountered, but it breaks my heart that it exists. So I am committed to Glee on principle.

The first… 3 or so episodes? Are tacky as all hell. Some parts of them are truly ridiculous, the singing is badly dubbed (for those who don’t know – it’s all their real voices, but they record in a studio and use the recorded tracks in the show, except in certain scenes. They’re moving towards less production in the songs, maybe even using the live filmed takes, which excites me) and the characters are pretty stereotyped. But then, something amazing happened. It’s a brand new show, and it found its feet, and it stepped it up a level. In my opinion this starts in the fourth episode and it starts with Kurt Hummel.



A lot of Glee ramblings. Includes spoilers up to episode 9. Kurt. )

To top off the magnificence of that episode, the whole ‘boy performing Defying Gravity’ thing? That’s Chris Colfer’s story. "I was venting to Ryan one day that in high school, we had this talent show every year, and every year I'd beg my teachers and the other students to let me sing Defying Gravity, because it was my favorite song. It meant the entire world to me. Every year they turned me down and said that I was a boy and it was a girl's song. And I tell this to Ryan, and we get the next script, and it's the story line for Kurt."

How amazing is that?

Chris Colfer himself. )


ETA: I've been writing drafting post for about two weeks, but something happened today. Now you understand the marvel that this boy is, maybe you will understand the utter fury I had about this: FOX wants to keep Chris Colfer in the closet. Basically, he did an interview with The Advocate, which is a gay press, and I read it a couple weeks back, and Fox has allegedly made the Advocate change the article that was posted, taking out references to Chris being gay. What the fuck? So they're fine with profiting from the popularity of a gay character on their show, but not happy with the actor being gay? I DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE.

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November 2011

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