[personal profile] cookiedough
Alright, internet. Do we have to talk about this again? Do we really have to talk about "protecting the people in the public eye whom you care about when privileged to private moments" thing? Because this should not be that difficult to understand.



Some fans met Darren Criss outside the bar he was at (a friend's gig) tonight in NYC and were just like chilling on the street in conversation with him and his friend and he was kind of tipsy - they claim he wasn't but people actually IN the gig with him saw him drinking, so whatev, but at some point, for some reason, said 'I will rip your clit out and shove it down your throat' to his friend cause she kept going on and on about something about sex. It was, you know, a joke.

And they posted this encounter on tumblr and now the internet knows and is reblogging and making jokes or memes, or alternately getting angry and saying he's terrible, a bad role model, whatever the fuck have you.

And like... Yeah. Should not have been posted on fucking Tumblr. Unlike LJ or forums or whatever, gossip blogs are starting to use Tumblr as a legit source. There were gossip pieces about him at Coachella which was from a fan meeting, etc etc, took the pics from there. TMZ and Perez take stuff off Tumblr. And so shit like this.. Shit which is comfortable and private and stuff... And is off the record, and may not appear the in the best light out of context... Imagine that ending up in a gossip blog.

Because I can not keep my mouth shut, I posted in their ask box (anon, but only cause I won't get an account) this:

"While I'm really glad you got to have such a chill experience just hanging out and part of me says thank you for posting, a bigger part says, do you realize how potentially damaging this is for you to have posted publicly? We know that gossip sites source stuff off Tumblr these days, and while I have been in your position - had comfortable conversations as a fan and written about them on my Livejournal, to my friends - but Tumblr has changed the game, and you get to know when shit that's said should not be made public knowledge. Not just fan-public, but PUBLIC-public. Like, just because he said things in front of you, and you're a fan, doesn't make it public record. It's not like, at a signing or anything. You were in his private space. It means you were given something to protect, and posting it on Tumblr is not protecting it. All the fans will love it and we all know what he's like, but he's so famous and sought now - can you imagine if like, that was found and put on Perez or TMZ? Stuff like that is starting to happen."


You know this kind of shit gets to me, because like, you know I've met bands etc and stuff's been said that isn't 'on the record' - so much shit William's told me - and out of respect and protection, when you're given a trustful, comfortable situation, you don't just offer that shit up to the fandom, let alone the part of the fandom where the dangerous tabloids actually comb for info.

Fucking get it right, people. If you really care about someone, don't treat everything they do as "fair game."

Date: 2011-04-26 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] claudieko.livejournal.com
omgggg this is so grossssss why the fuuuuuuuuuuck would people share stuff like this?

OH GOD HUMANITY

Date: 2011-04-26 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cookiedough.livejournal.com
I don't know. Because people don't think. Or view other people as human. Or they don't actually care about them - the actual person, for themselves - they only care about the entertainment value and excitement they get from it.

Date: 2011-04-26 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] claudieko.livejournal.com
To me, this is the kind of people who'd start talking about their friends if they became famous. Like if you suddenly rose to stardom and I decided to copy & paste everything in your journal and share it to the world.

Just... no.

Date: 2011-04-26 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miyo-chan.livejournal.com
(I burst out laughing tbh, I've said worse.)

How infuriating something should be turned from 'lol I'm going to slap you if you don't stfu, silly friend' to 'I am the terminator. The sexist terminator. I will end you horrifically.'

Groan groan, the internet sucks.

Date: 2011-04-26 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aelora.livejournal.com
I saw this shit and got so unbelievably angry. I just don't even understand people. Do they not think??? I've hung out with plenty of actors while interviewing them and just having lunch, and heard them say things that would likely offend a GREAT number of their fans. The things were said in just, they were said behind the scenes, and I never have shared them with anyone.

Why don't people think???

Date: 2011-04-26 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cookiedough.livejournal.com
Yeah, exactly. EXACTLY. Me too. Like, as someone who has been there, I'm just like 'how do you think this is okay? you are betraying the trust and comfortability that you have been given. good job.'

Date: 2011-04-26 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roseandheather.livejournal.com
...wow. Whoever posted that is completely classless.

Honest to God, people. The man is a legal adult. He is allowed, should he choose, to get tipsy and crack jokes with someone who is obviously a longtime friend and knows him well.

(As my best friend is highly likely to make a similar-sounding comment towards me roughly twice a week, I can tell you that what is understood between friends is not often understood by the general public, having been unnecessarily comforted by people who insist that he can't possibly be my best friend, or "he wouldn't say such mean things!")

I just. Really, people? Can't the man have one minute out of the spotlight? If she wasn't raising a fuss about it, you have no right to. You're not a part of that friendship. You don't know how they are together. And you do not have the right to potentially ruin Darren's blossoming career because you want a little notoriety.

/rant

So. Um. There's that. (This is why I avoid tumblr like it is a plague-y thing with plague.)

Date: 2011-04-26 09:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hazyjayne.livejournal.com
Completely this.

Date: 2011-04-26 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coolwhipdiva.livejournal.com
So that's what the brouhaha is all about. I heard bits and pieces today but hadn't gone to search it out yet.

*sigh* fandom, why so thoughtless? I can't even begin to quantify the number of things I've heard certain actors and actresses say (or do) in informal but ostensibly public settings that I'd never post about, because not everything needs to be on the internet, and when people are having downtime, it's downtime.

While I don't think what he said is any big thing - goodness knows if third parties overhear the things my friends and I say to each other we'd offend every other person - you're right. Tumblr is way too public for some things. Then again, a lot of people on Tumblr, or Twitter, or whatever, have no concept of thinking about the ramifications for what they post. After all, I've advised on terminations when an idiot posts on Twitter about taking drugs at work (and is then shocked and offended when the employer has a big problem with it - no, honey, it doesn't invade your privacy, you posted it to a public forum). People don't think that what they post is up for grabs to whomever, and they are even less concerned when it involves celebrities.

Hopefully Darren suffers no ramifications from it. One of the most enjoyable things about him is that he is so generous with his time and conversation.

Date: 2011-04-26 09:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hazyjayne.livejournal.com
You know, I can't help thinking back to the comment Darren made last week about Starkid and the fans.

Can I say I think this should go both ways? Darren is obviously trying to make sure Starkid is going to work out in the long term and is ensuring as best as he can they stay true to the roots. I think the least he deserves (and he certainly deserves a lot more) is our respect and courtesy.

Date: 2011-04-26 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cookiedough.livejournal.com
Which comment was this, the one from the livestream?

I seriously think he's someone who just wants to be able to be comfortable around fans, especially if he met them in a chill environment. I know that he has people who he considers friends, whom he met as fans, in this way, people who came to his shows and just chilled. Lots of musicians make friends like that. Obviously not many A-List Hollywood celebs do, but it is very apparent that he doesn't want to act like an AList Hollywood celeb, he isn't in that mentality. So he acts in a certain way, but people respond to it in another way - like here for example, people treating him normal to his face and then as a 'celebrity' behind his back... like what he said in the conversation was public, on the record, fair game... that's disrespecting and betraying the fact that he felt comfortable, and not appreciating the level of closeness he wants and that you've been allowed in on.

It's the same thing as people getting added on his/other Starkids facebooks and then spreading the pics around like they were put up for public consumption.

It is a betrayal of the intimacy being offered to you. HOW can people do that?

Date: 2011-04-26 10:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hazyjayne.livejournal.com
Yeah - sorry I am probably not making much sense due to extreme tiredness.

Completely agreed with all that you said - being public and on record is one thing, being in private down time is another.

Oh goodness I really do not understand humans sometimes, I really don't. The question I would like to ask those people is "How would you feel if someone did that to you?". WHY WHEN IT COMES TO THE INTERNET PEOPLE FORGET TO USE THIER BRAINS?

Date: 2011-04-27 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midorisour.livejournal.com


We discussed this in e-mails, but I continue to wholeheartedly agree.

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