[personal profile] cookiedough
Welcome, my friends, to my review of what was officially the worst, and to me, most offensive episode of Glee so far.



Now I love this show and I am aware it's shit. I am aware that they build these beautiful, faceted characters and develop them and then tear them down and backpedal the shit out of them for the sake of a joke or a new minor plot. I am aware that they ignore and never reference huge, crucial things from past episodes, that the timing never makes sense.. many, many, many things are so flawed. I'm SO aware of this, but the characters hold so much potential for me that I hang in there and cling to the tiny things that make it brilliant.

There have been some truly awful opinions and situations expressed on the show, but in general, I do feel that the message is usually good. They have negative characters expressing negative opinions which are portrayed as bad and wrong. I'm still not really that cool with the ambiguity of the religion episode and how Kurt seemed to be forced to yield from all sides, so that's kind of a grey area, but usually in this show when someone gets it really wrong, its shown that they ARE wrong. Like Puck singing that song to Lauren, like Emma schooling Will about using the kids as a front to help his own motives, like Kurt and Finn's entire first-season dynamic, on both sides. But this is the first episode where I have been literally so enraged and furious that I have CRIED in frustration at the words they are putting in these characters mouths, how offended I am by it, how annoyed I am that the character has been disserviced, and basically the total lack of resolution.

First up: this is in no way me stamping my foot because I didn't get what I wanted - or more specifically, the pairing that I wanted. A lot of people are making this about shipping and for me it is really not. Yeah, I would like Kurt and Blaine together in the long run, but I never expected that to be the outcome of this episode, and that's not what this is about it all. It is somewhat about their friendship, but we'll get there.

I was really expecting to be fine with everything that happened in this episode. From the previews and spoilers we knew that Blaine would get wasted at a ND party, and kiss Rachel in Spin the Bottle (and sing with her.) That he would get pretty into it and end up questioning bisexuality but ultimately decide he was gay. And I was like, fine with all of this. I thought it would have Kurt and Blaine discussing sexuality, what it means, what their experience has been, and even legitimately whether bisexuality is real. People were throwing Blaine under a fucking bus right from the preview and I'm like 'look, no, it will be fine. It's Spin the Bottle and Blaine is a fail. And we know he ends up gay.' (Ryan Murphy had to announce that on Perez after the huge uproar when there was a blind item about this episode which was then confirmed to be about Blaine. People went INSANE at the idea he might end up with a girl.) People were going on about how they were going to hate Blaine if he was biphobic. Other people were being disgustingly biphobic themselves about the whole situation. People were making a big deal of it because it was Rachel and Rachel apparently takes everything away from Kurt. People were making a big deal of it cause it was Rachel and started legitimately shipping Blaine and her together, because they hate Kurt. There were just so much stupidity and insanity and I was like 'I think it's going to be okay. Kurt, Rachel and Blaine are all friends now. I am pretty sure that this is going to be fine and end up with epic Blaine-Rachel faghag friendship.'

Yeah, no.

Dear Ian: don't play in Ryan and Brad's sandbox. I know I constantly want to smack Ryan round the head and that you are the person who came up with the concept for this show in the first place so I am grateful that you exist. I know that you've done some pretty great episodes. But certain characters on this show belong to certain writers. Kurt belongs to Ryan. You can not write him. Do not attempt it again. Do we remember Hairography? Do you just really hate Kurt or something? You are giving us canon material that utterly ruins the beautiful development that has actually made this show feel good quality lately. And Blaine and Rachel are both better off left to Brad. Every time you write Rachel you screw her over and regress her to who she was in the first half of season one. Please stop doing this to her. Stick to writing Finn and Sue. Get away from these kids. Ian, you even made me pissed at BURT HUMMEL. Do you understand how grave this situation is?

Dear Kurt, Rachel and Blaine: I am sorry Ian turned you all into massive douchebags, but I am about to address how and why you were all, in fact, giant douchebags.

Dear Rachel:
'Kurt, Blaine, wasn't expecting on seeing you guys.' Oh okay, so if we are going to go along with ths fucking ridiculous idea that Dalton DOESN'T board and that Kurt drives 4 hours a day - why the HELL did you not invite him to your weekend house party? Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you? He had to blackmail Finn into taking him? Are these people no longer his friends? Okay that's absolutely fine, you go right ahead and ostracise him for no apparent reason after becoming close and having sleepovers. Whatever. A+ on friendship. And you said it in the world's most fake-positive voice and shot Finn the DIRTIEST look as they go in... what the FUCK is that about? Excuse me?

Dear Blaine:
1. Everyone with eyes can see you're not wearing your uniform. It's a weekend. At a party. In someone's house. If you were wearing your uniform I would be scared. What did pointing this out achieve? You sound like an idiot. Please stop.
2. I get that you are extremely repressed and have probably never, ever been drunk before and are very excited if you think that this is 'the best party ever.' but really. Really? Like this, this I do see how it works, and how tightly wound he must be to spring this far when he lets loose. But without any context given for why he'd make that choice.. It looks pretty bad. I can make up context with as much effort it takes to draw in breath - he needs approval in every situation being the first and foremost - but I really needed them to show it to me in the canon, because not everyone is me and I'm thinking about how he will be viewed by civilians just casually watching this.


Dear Kurt:
In Spin the Bottle? Don't overcompensate showing everyone how much you don't care and how hilarious it is. I can see straight through you. Drunkface McGee over there in the maroon? He can't.

God, this is SO ANNOYING. Re-watching to write this? The Don't You Want Me duet? Is AMAZING in the fact that they are both RIDICULOUS and EXACTLY the SAME. Rachel is like Blaine in all the ways she's not like Kurt, and they would make amazing boy-girl besties and I just don't know if that's ever gonna work for me now, even if they do try to make it happen. At this point in the episode I thought 'oh yeah, it will totally be cool because no one is making a big deal about the kiss and then they're here being all spazzy and camp and unsexy and ridic (though would have been better with actual drunk singing, of course) and I actually believed it was going to be pulled off in a satisfying way even though it was clearly grating on Kurt. God, and Santana's "I want you! I do!" oh yeah babe? Which one? Because either way, gooood. GOD WHY DOES THIS SHOW have to ruin everything joyous?

Dear Rachel:
Are you drinking wine at home alone after school? Are you filling your WATER BOTTLE with wine? What the fuck? But we will put that aside for a second to address the more serious issue at hand here which is ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? YOU ASKED HIM OUT?

Dear Blaine:
YOU ACCEPTED?

This is where the episode took a turn for me. The shit at the party, fine. This? NOT EXPECTED and so, so, so problematic and so offensive.

Okay, here's the thing, Blaine. Here's what you don't do. If you get drunk and end up making out with a girl, that's fine. If that leads you to end up questioning your sexuality, that's also totally fine. You know what you don't do? When she calls you up and asks you out - which I will be speaking to her about in a moment - say you're curious? You know what? Even that is okay. Not great, but understandable. You know what you DON'T do, Blaine? You don't accept instantly, bring it up with Kurt in a way that's fucking laughing it up and sharing the joke, and then turn around and get pissy and offended at Kurt when he says 'wait a second, no, you can't lead her on.' How dare you be so dismissive after what you and Kurt put on the table in SLS, when you expressed so much distress at hurting him. And how FUCKING DARE you back Kurt into a corner and compare Karofsky's unacceptance of Kurt to Kurt's unacceptance of this situation.

Dear Kurt:
I am mostly on your side here but how dare you say that about bisexuality, how DARE you, and how dare you be so unsupportive of someone dealing with conflict when he has been there for you every step of the way. Blaine was seriously so, so messed up by you not accepting him and trying to help him, he obviously isn't close to anyone else and wants to be close to you. Yes, he shouldn't be being close to you about Rachel, but he needs to be close to you about his identity crisis.

Dear Rachel:
You're a cunt.

A HUGE part of my issue here is that it's Rachel. NOT because she's a girl. And not because it's Rachel Berry Who Takes Things Away from Kurt. I don't believe that. No, it's because Rachel is Kurt's friend. They've been getting closer, that's been a consistent development, and she was there for him through his confusion over Blaine. They've made them pretty solid and the fact that both she and Blaine would think that was a fine thing to do to Kurt just... disgusts me.

What even is that? Like so many levels of what? I'm someone who's had many friend issues in the past and one of the biggest things for me is like... Mixing groups of friends. And so even if there was nothing between Kurt and Blaine, if Kurt didn't feel something for him, he brought Blaine into the group. He's Kurt's Friend Blaine. I honestly think there's levels that have to be reached before someone in that situation becomes like... Like before it becomes not weird for him to spend time with Kurt's friends without Kurt there? This might just be a me thing. But say I visited you, and you introduced me to some friends and then found out I was hanging out with/in contact with/going on a date with someone I'd met through you, and we were sharing things you and I don't share... I don't know if that's something that's ever been an issue for everyone but it's something that has ALWAYS been an issue for me. Not to say that integration of friends can't or shouldn't happen, but it has to get to a certain point and when two people you introduced get close without you, it can be very very confronting. And THAT'S what I find fucked up about Blaine accepting. If he was genuinely questioning I can not fault that. Though you'd think most people would go through that on the way to figuring out they're gay, but whatever. But what kind of insenstive idiot goes at it with a friend of the person who you've just had minor relationship drama with and accidentally hurt and basically set yourself up as endgame with? Like I get that this is about you, but you don't think it might be a good thing to do, as a friend, to keep it out if his FACE?

Rachel asking is just worlds of no and it shouldn't take a genius to work out why. It's not wrong to explore the potential interest of a boy who might be into you. It's wrong to do it when you know the drama and heartache one of your very best friends has just gone through with this boy. How in the WORLD do you think this is appropriate? And how in the world is this something that you'd actually DO after the way they've had you actually grow into a good person?

But that argument. Both boys were disrespecting each other in a way I didn't think I would EVER see. They were shit friends to each other. That is what I just can't... deal with. I really do feel for Blaine, that he's hurt Kurt isn't there for him, but his lashing out about Kurt's pride and his disrespect of Kurt's space were just... just.. really bad.

Kurt saying that comment really didn't shock me, and I don't know if he meant he didn't believe in bisexuality in general or if he meant insecure gay guys grabbed onto the bi label in order to have something more acceptable. The second one honestly is true, but Kurt, where have you experienced that? I have always genuinely thought Kurt was fairly uneducated and uncultured and unaware, like he thinks he's really with it but he's not. Like he knows he's gay, and he knows he likes musicals and fashion and stuff, but I really want them to do an episode where his eyes are opened to what actual culture is and what the actual queer community is like. So yeah, it didn't surprise me but I was still so angry at him.

To me, the obvious thing that these characters would have done in a sane world is that they would have talked about it privately. Rachel asking Blaine out wouldn't have been the catalyst, Blaine would have come to Kurt saying 'help me,' before that. And it still would have been hard and painful but it would have been on their terms. But no, we have this crap, for the sake of unnessecary drama. You know how I have said something about the Dalton scenes and Kurt's scenes usually seems a cut above, or from a different show, well, no. This plotline was pure Glee at its worst and it sucked.

This isn't even coherent. I just need to write so it's not floating around in my head. I am SO ANGRY AT ALL THREE OF THEM. Fuck you, Ian, seriously, fuck you. And this achieved NOTHING.

Do you want to know how bad this episode truly was for me? I had beef with BURT HUMMEL. Ian, you fucked up BURT HUMMEL. GREAT job. GREAT, GREAT job. Because something about that conversation about Blaine sleeping over? Still smacked of homophobia to me. Kurt was a little shit in that scene, and it's clearly a lead in to the next episode (the sex education one) but something about the repeated use of the word inappropriate? "you being inappropriate in my house?" I'm pretty sure Burt didn't mean it in a homophobic way, but it sounded bad and Kurt took it badly and Burt Hummel is, to me, the one character that they need to have crystal clear as positive at all times, more than Kurt, more than Blaine. Burt is the one you HAVE to get right.


Above all things, the worst thing for me is probably how Kurt actually consistently tried to be a good friend to Rachel. He wasn't doing it in a manipulative way. He was hurting, it was OBVIOUS, and he vented that to his dad, but not once did he bring it up to Blaine OR Rachel that it was about him loving Blaine. It OBVIOUSLY was but he did not make it about that. And that bit at the end where he was like 'I don't want you to get hurt either, you know, I don't get a victory from this.' and she was like 'Who cares about you, buddy, I may get a new boyfriend out of this?'

Yeah, great. Great. After everything. Whatever. You douche.


The last absolute piece of shit was the way that Blaine's questioning was pretty much used for humor value. Like we, the audience, were meant to find the way Rachel described Blaine acting on their date a hilarious joke or something. Yeah, how about no. How about this kid is totally insecure and neurotic and him going on a date with a girl? Shouldn't be 'oh what a jolly fun time I'm having I must be bi'. It's all going to be 'what does this MEAN' and the way Rachel discussed it really invalidated the actual mental struggle. They made his "searching" into a joke. Awesome. Thanks, show.


I don't even really want to talk about how stupid in general the rest of the episode was but the scene after the Blame It number where they're all like 'Adults show us that drinking is awesome, fuck you Mr Schue!' like really? These kids are NOT that dumb, and teenagers in general are not that dumb. NO ONE thinks like that. And I seriously said out loud "is this actually happening?" when Will had them sign the pledge at the end. Please stop. Show, please just stop with the Very Special Episodes and work on an ongoing plot. Also, yeah, Will has nothing in his life. Is that something we're just going to ignore? Not that I give a fuck about him. How can they waste this much time on pointless shit and then play off actually serious situations for comedy value?


Er, things I liked:

- Kee Dollar Sign Ha.
- That first Finchel scene, 'My Headband.' SO awkward - this is what this show should have been like the whole time, like more of an ironic 'Election' vibe. I actually kind of wish all the songs they do were live takes - they could record them for the CD, but I would like live, on camera takes of all the songs.
- "Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes" - hi guys, hanging out in the fandom again? Santana was also absolutely flawless this episode, totally the most realistic drinks-like-a-regular-teenager of them all. All through the party as well. LOVED her.
- Quinn doing shots wearing Lauren's glasses and Blaine's scarf wrapped around her head. Actually Quinn looked a hot mess the whole party and it was super attractive. As was Sam. Oh, hot mess blondes.
- Santana doing body shots off of Brittany. Oh god.
- Puck wearing Lauren's glasses.
- Drunk Rachel in general, I will conceed, was awesome. IT TASTES LIKE PINK!
- Sober Finn - I knew that he would be the one who didn't drink, given Cory's past, and it worked really really well. Ian, Finn is the one you need to focus on writing. You get him. I really liked his categorising of drunk types. I would have liked him to address the boys too, but didn't seem sleazy or anything, it was very matter of fact and very true.
- Continuity of the Hummels moving house and Kurt having a new room.
- Burt walking in on Blaine in Kurt's bed.
- Hungover everyone in sunglasses including Artie's over his normal glasses. Santana looks especially foxy in that scene too.



Blah. This is so incoherant. I will probably get my head together later and write something that's actually in order. I actually have, like concise opinions on how this was morally offensive and not just fucking up my fave characters. But it was write this or not sleep. They made people I love, even Rachel, who has earned my love slowly, into just examples of the most offensive and disrespectful behaviour. Wooo, there was resolution, Blaine's still gay. So what. That didn't stop any of them being shitheads. That fight was not - it was NOT - about simply whether Blaine was gay. It was on the surface but it was about so much more than that.



lol someone on a comm was like "you know what really bugs me? people hating the character because of bad writing."


me: Well, at the end of the day, objectively, the character IS the writing, HOWEVER, I agree with you. Like I'm just like 'I'm so mad at the writers for doing this to Rachel. It is a disservice to her character. Poor Rachel, why have they made her like this?'

so yes I totally agree with you but I think objectively we may be the crazy ones.


and another point raised: if Blaine was questioning if bisexuality exists and then he just goes back to being gay .... isn't that semi-implying that it doesn't?

That right there is a HUGE one because I don't think that's what they intended to say but it could certainly be taken that way by the dumb-ass public.

BRAD. BRAD I NEED YOU TO FIX THIS. NOW. PLEASE.
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cookiedough

November 2011

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