Mar. 16th, 2011

"then there was The Screaming Girl.

good lord.

this girl was screaming.
i’m not exaggerating, and the poor folks who were surrounding her in the front row can vouch for me: this was screaming.
blood-curdling, spastic, ear-covering, painful, call-the-cops fucking screaming.
and she wasn’t waiting for songs to stop to merge her screaming with the cheering of the audience.
she was just. screaming. all. the. time.

it was really fucked up.

i couldn’t tell WHAT she was screaming for a while, and i could see the discontent in the folks around her, but my audience usually self-polices.
a person screaming like that usually gets told to shut up enough times by the adjacent crowd that they settle down out of sheer embarrassment.
only rarely do i have to call them out. and even when i do, i try to just use humor to make them shut up.

so i addressed her, and asked if she could please keep it down a little, and yes i loved her too, but maybe we could talk with each other after the show about how much we loved each other or whatever, but she just kept screaming. and she wouldn’t listen to me when i talked to her, she was too far gone. and it was WHAT she was screaming, that was what killed me.

I FUCKING LOOOOOOVE YOU AMANDA!!!! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I FUCKING LOVE IT WHEN YOOOOOU SIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!
I FUCKING FUCKING LOVE YOU. AGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAGAGAGAHAGAAHAHGAGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so on.

let me try to describe how it feels to be screamed at by someone that they “FUCKING LOVE YOU” when this person is a few feet from your face, and they will not listen to you talk to them.

it’s honestly one of the loneliest feelings in the whole world."



-------------------------

This. This is what I wish I could say to, hold up a sign saying, or tattoo on the face of, the majority of most fangirls. Not just ones literally screaming at shows. Take that last statement further. Take it as a metaphor. There are so many people in so many fandoms who just proclaim love for things - for people, but they TREAT them like things - they don't know how to fucking handle themselves, don't know how to just consider the artist, actor, whatever, as a person, the idea that they might hear you, see you, actually ever receive or be aware of anything you send out into the universe.

People like that, they're fangirling their own ideas, or what they get out of it, rather than truly caring about the other person at all - it means they barely consider them human.


And I think that truly loving something - or someone - is a lot more than just loving what you get out of it.

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cookiedough

November 2011

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